Happy Happiest of Fridays friends! I can barely contain my excitement about going to HAWAII TOMORROW (PS: Still would love a guest poster or two. Comment or email me!). I'm happy dancing this day away...

I don't think I should be expected to work under these conditions. Don't you agree? So, I'll just think about these absurd things...


1. Blue Ivy Carter got a diamond-encrusted Barbie for her 1st birthday. American baby princess herself really blew it out for her birthday.

Parents Beyonce and Jay-Z gave her a diamond-covered Barbie doll wearing real gold jewelry for a mere 80,000 bones. All of her friends received a jewelry set, play house and a princess costume. Her friends parents got an engraved gold pen. Whoa. The ridiculous party was meant to "set the tone for the rest of her life." Welp, mission accomplished. Somehow I don't take offense because it's Beyonce. #celebritybias #iloveBey


2.  America's first bookless library coming to Texas! That's right, a whole library, no printed books. It's all e-books! San Antonio will soon be opening BiblioTech, a library where all the books are digital:

You can bring your own e-reader or borrow one from the library. All the titles are online, too! While the cool factor of this explodes everything I know to be true about San Antonio, I have some questions. If you have a fancy Ipad/Kindle/Nook, are you really going to schlep down to the library? So, say you check out a title online, why would you ever buy an e-book again? How are e-book sellers ok with this? My most important question, however, is this: what is it going to smell like in there? I don't want to go to a library that doesn't smell like the 1800's. I just won't. Take that.


3. Jessica Simpson is getting her own sitcom. She's starring in a scripted sitcom based on her life. What the hell?

Haven't we already seen a train wreck alot like this? A producer of the show, set to air on NBC (come on, NBC!), said she's a "truly a modern-day Lucy with incredible comedic chops." Again I ask, what the hell? I recently heard she was making like gazilions of dollars on her shoes and purses. That seems like a better fit to me. I'm worried my beloved NBC will all go to pot after this season. Womp, womp.


4. These jeans claim they can reduce cellulite and moisturize your butt skin:

Not kidding. These new Wranglers (Wranglers, really?) claim to be infused with magical potions that can reduce cellulite and make your skin softer. You can choose from three options: Aloe Vera, Olive Extract or Smooth Legs. Here's a bit of the science behind it:

Infused with algae extracts, retinol and caffeine, the style was clinically tested by the Institut Adriant in France, where after four weeks of wearing the jeans for eight hours a day, five days a week over six weeks, 69 per cent of the panel claimed that the appearance of their thighs had improved.

I'm giving this a MAJOR side eye. That can't be real. I'm kind of tempted to find out. For $135, I guess i could do just that.


5. Lady Gaga wants to buy Neverland Ranch.

Yep, the weird  just got a little weirder  folks. She's recently befriended the Jackson family and wants to buy back the creeptastic estate so Michael's children can enjoy their childhood home -- complete with the petting zoo, carnival rides, general oddities. It is actually a pretty nice gesture, but what a strange thing to take on. She already owns 55 pieces of Neverland Ranch memorabilia, which is strange enough in itself.  I don't know why this whole thing strikes me as so odd. I just can't imagine Gaga on a Ferris wheel with little Paris, Prince and Blanket (yep, Blanket is still a thing).


6. Channing Tatum's portrait made out of Mike & Ikes is a thing:

It's real. It's amazing. The abs kind of blow my mind, even made out of candy. Maybe even more so, if we're being honest here. The artist has TONS more cool stuff.

Thanks for playing! I'll be away in sunny Maui next week. Can't wait to be in the sun and on a boat...


Might be blogging, might not. XOXO