Poodleism: Friday, June 1, 2012

Jun 1, 2012

Friday, June 1, 2012

Hey there friends! Happy Friday! I'm back newsflashing today and it feels spectacular. Here ya go:

1. Danish teens prefer Edward Cullen to Jesus. Yes, you read that right.The truth is actually a little bit different. The University of Copenhagen surveyed teens about their spiritual habits and learned that they looked toward fiction, much of it from America, rather than traditional deities for their religious guidance. Anybody want to guess which book series inspired the teens the most? Yep, its Twilight. Really, I mean, "duh, it's Twilight." I haven't gotten a good fix of Edward lately, so Danish teens worshiping him couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I've been accused of a semi-religious devotion to Twilight. Honestly, it seems that I have all the warning signs. Maybe I should move to Denmark? I miss Edward. November.

2. Alana Thompson, best known for her famous "dolla make me holla honey boo boo" remark on Toddlers & Tiaras, is getting her own show! Don't remember ~~sweet~~ little Alana? Check out this genius:

Honestly, her mother is offensive enough to get her own show too. I cannot freaking wait. If that clip doesn't make you get on the T&T bandwagon, I don't know wait will. TLC freaks are the best... the BEST.

3. Wedding Uggs. Yes that's a thing.

Uggs Australia has announced a wonderful new line of their ~~feminine dainty delicate beautiful~~ boots especially for brides. Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate the things. Uggs are the perfect dog walking shoe for a chilly night. They're perfect for winter road trips. They're great slippers. I just really don't think they have much place coming down the aisle. I'm ordinarily a comfort slave, but really? If you disagree, buy them here.

4. Quotes of the week:

"The girls that really base how much they're worth on the sexual favors they can do for somebody, that makes me really sad. Because sex is actually really beautiful. It's the only way we create, and it's the only way the world keeps going," she said. "It's ignorant not to talk to your kids about it or [not] make it seem as magical or cool as it actually is."... says Miley Cyrus, recent boycotter of pants:

Who knew she's so evolved? Without her mature and wise opinions on this topic, I don't know where I'd be. That Miley, she's so wise. Though, I'd probably blab about "magical sex" if Liam Hemsworth was my boyfriend too.

"Being so beautiful that you get paid for people to look at you may be a pretty sweet gig but it can put a bullet in your love life. Let's put it out there: No one hits on me. No one flirts with me. It's very sad, actually ... A guy who comes up to me works. I hope that will happen every now and again." -- Bar Rafaeli, who recently topped the Maxim Hot 100 list

Womp, womp. If she doesn't get hit on, what are the rest of us supposed to do? Really though, we're all screwed. #nosympathyforbar #ihatequoteslikethis #effher

5. Th first official Les Miserables trailer is HERE. I'm a big nerd for Les Mis. BIG NERD.

My mother, who is a broadway ~~crazed fan~~ enthusiast, started me on the musics when I was just a wee tot. Now, I'm a full fledged dork for it myself. Is that Anne Hathaway's voice? I think not. But I don't care, I cannot freaking wait. It's coming to us around Christmas time. I smell a girls mid-shopping day matinee showing in the works....

6. The zombie-pocalypse may be upon us. Really though. Surveillance cameras caught a naked man chewing the face off of another man on a highway overpass. Literally ripping off flesh with his teeth -- for 18 minutes. Though it's disgusting, it's startlingly reminiscent of lore about how zombies are going to take over our world. I know of this from my army of nerd friends who consider a zombie-pocalypse a real threat. It's honestly terrifying. Turns out he attacker was on crazy drugs called "bath salts". I want to believe that zombies are real. I'm going to proceed as if they are.

7. And just for fun, I thought I'd share this naturally-occurring comedy gold:

These rocks are found in Turkey's "Love Valley" region. Wonder why it's named that? Tee hee. Phallic rock formations? I couldn't resist.

I've got a nice little weekend of in-town relaxing ahead of me. I love those weekends. No plans, just a semi-serious to-do list for fun Austiny activities. LOVE that. Hope yours is magnificent, too!