Dec 23, 2011

Christmas Tour De Texas

Every year my family and I embark on a Christmas sojourn that rivals almost any road trip on earth. We started the Tour De Texas Today. Here's the route:


First, we leave from Houston (1) and head to Ozona, TX (2), which is where my dad is from. We enjoy Christmas Eve dinner and festivities with that side of the family. Then, Christmas morning, we have some "Santa time" and head to my mother's hometown, Pampa, TX (3) in time for Christmas dinner and festivities with that side of the family. A couple days later we'll hit the road back to Houston (1), which is the hypotenuse of the whole thing and the most excruciatingly long drive ever in the history of all time.

According to Google Maps, the total drive time is approx. 23 hours. RIDICULOUS. But, it's broken up over several days.

We've done this lit-relly every Christmas of my life. I honestly don't know another way. My parents started this tradition before they had kids and it kind of just stuck. It's going to be weird one day when I don't do it anymore (assuming I have my own family one day, but we aren't really anywhere close to that happening). I love seeing EVERY SINGLE person in my family for Christmas, it's great.

If you don't hear much out of me...that's what I'm doing. I plan to attempt mobile blogging...

So, what inefficient absurdity does your family insist upon at Christmas time?
Dec 21, 2011

Guest posting today!

EFF YAH! A sweet blog friend, Christina over at Christina's Pop Life, invited me to guest blog for her today while she's recovering from surgery and in major holiday mode.

Christina’s Pop Life

Go over to her blog and read my monster recap post of all the Christmas T.V. I've been soaking up. Glee, New Girl, The office and more! But really, go read it, here!

More than anything, thanks for the invite sweet bloggy friend! It means the world to me!


So, if you haven't yet, go read my guest post at Christina's Pop Life here!

Oh How Pinteresting - It's a Wrap!

Today and tomorrow I'm consumed with wrapping. Somehow, in my little family, I wiggled my way into to the job of head wrapper. Every year I wrap alot of stuff. I don't know how it started and I don't mind doing it at all, but it's just kind of what we do.

I've got quite a wrapping to-do list. So, today, for sweet Michelle at the Vintage Apple's "Oh How Pinteresting Wednesday, all I can think about are pretty packages.


I'm loving the brown paper ("...brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things!!") look. I wish I'd gotten my S together enough to execute some of these pretties:

Via 





But alas, I'm in my normal "crank them out as fast as I can" routine. Perhaps festive flourishes for Christmas 2012....

While we're on the topic of packages. I'm ready to be given some. Or a lot. It's almost presents time! YES!
Dec 20, 2011

Christmas Pasts

So I'm home in Houston for Christmas and am in super Christmas elf mode. I feel like I have 600 errands and tasks to do. EEK.

Anyway, last night the little nugget and I got majorly distracted looking through old photo albums of Christmases past. Thanks to iPhone magic, I can share with you lucky duckies. Brace yourself for baby Poodleist cuteness..

I think I'm like 3-ish in this one. This really the last one I can find before I turn massively awkward. You'll see.

 We're getting into the bangs/mullet days. Dark years. But look at that presh little nugget baby.

Someone had too many candy canes....

FAKEST. BEARD. EVER.

Side pony, bitches.

Nobody is happy. I also seem to have forgotten to dress like a girl that year. Weird.

This is pretty much where I still shake down on Christmas morning photography. Back then it was about being a present obstacle. Now, it's the eye bags.

Christmas is so freaking fun.

S Girls Say

Ok, people. I don't care to just YouTube out a whole post, but I've got a bit of a bone to pick. There's this new YouTube sensation, Shit Girls Say.

When the first episode came out last week, THREE seperate people sent it to me in a Facebook message or email. The videos are funny, and I DEF say some of this stuff, but am I like this?

"TWINSIES" is something that's come out of my mouth for sure.

And just for funsies, here's Episode 2:

"I kind of want a hot dog."
"That poor dog needs water"

So, people that know me in the real universe (or even the Blog universe), am I an annoying girl? I'm prepared to hear the truth.
Dec 19, 2011

New Award! Thanks!

Hai. I'm thrilled to thank Alyssa at Simply Alyssa for a supersweet Blog award today.



The premise on this one is that I need to report 7 random facts about myself. Lucky for you blog world, I'm about as random as they come....

1. I love a bearded man. I really do. Something like this is what I'm talking about:


...but I do enjoy a ginger beard alot, too.

2. I don't have a microwave. For some reason, Roomate and I just never picked one up. Now, enough time has gone by that we're just used to it. Most people can't believe it. Honestly, it makes me eat less late at night because I'm deterred from reheating crappy food and am forced to eat the fresh stuff.

3. For Christmas I want new towels. I'm officially an old lady. I love these monogrammed beauties from Pottery Barn:


and these Anthropologie ones:


4. I've fully converted to Coke Zero. I actually don't drink much soda, but when I do, it's the best. I was always a Diet Coke loyalist, but now, I'm sold. The Zero is just better. It does taste more real. I wish bars had it more often.

5. I maced myself. Yep, read all about it here. That one will live in infamy.


6. I've had Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is You" in my head for a solid month. Worse things have happened. I believe it's a classic. Forget Bing Crosby.

All I Want for Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey on Grooveshark

Also, look what a vixen she is on the cover of this dude:

...that's the Mariah Carey we all know and love!

7. People confuse my little nugget of a sister and I for twins sometimes:


She's five years younger than me. As a 20 year old, she loves it. As a 25 year old, I love it. Winning all around. She's also totally bitchin'. 

I have already received this little award, so I won't be bestowing it on other bloggers. But I'm so super grateful to Alyssa for thinking of me! You're the sweetest.

This is another thing swirling around the blog world today, go do it:

Mingle 240
Dec 15, 2011

I heart Buddy.

Elf is seriously the best Christmas movie that's been made in years. There of course the other classics (A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, etc), but SO genius. Sunday night Roommate and I recovered from our weekends with a little pizza, eggnog (arguably my perfect meal) and Elf. 


I can't get the hilarity out of my head. I think I need to watch it again. I've been weaving these into my everyday conversation wherever possible:


UGH. LOVE. So. Much.

I'm trying to get into the holiday spirit over here. Buddy the Elf-isms might be just the ticket.

I'm still here.

Yes, I've been absentee. I've been one busy little bumblebee this last week. Some good busy-ness has been going on, but mostly just too much damn stuff going on.

So, today seems like the perfect time for Amber's "It's OK" Thursday...

It's OK...

... to freak about having multiple chins in your Christmas card photo. I mean come on, it's your once-a-year chance to show the world that you're still thriving and fabulous. Thanks to roommate, we had a successful photo session (which I'll debut later).

... to be COMPLETELY de-railed by a computer meltdown. I wish I could say that I'm evolved enough to be un-phased and all calm and holistic and shit about a forced "unplugging" of my life, but I'm not. So not. Stress galore. New goal is to be as diamond-ish as possible:


... to deck too many halls. That's my term for over-partying at festive occassions. Three for three holiday parties this week I've opted to behave like I'm 20 years old again. Good clean fun was had by all, but come on, Casey. You're a grown-ass woman. 

... to let Christmas sneak up on you. I haven't done ANY of the shopping I need to. That's ok, right?

... to eat sugar cookie dough in distress. But really, y'all, I recently discovered this:
... and CAN'T GET ENOUGH. I've been munching on dough here and there for a week. Is that so wrong? If it is, then I don't want to be right. (I've also now learned through a little Google research that the same stuff exists for Valentine's Day, Easter and Back-to-School (weird). YES.)

... to not want to talk about "Butterfly man". So stop asking. But, let the record show that he's emerging to be fantastic.

... to turn into an old woman in the wintertime. Monday night I enjoyed a quiet evening of flannel, tea, glasses and reading with both dogs in my bed. It was lovely, but I felt like a 50 year old spinster dog hoarder just a tad. My friend gave me these fabulous PJ's for Christmas and I've been living in them:


Confession: I typically keep mine buttoned up the front. I do have a roommate after all. If I didn't, I'd look EXACTLY like this. (absurd)

Welp, all for now. I'm going to try to stay a little more on top of this blogging thing. I miss it. It kind of feels like when I'm off my gym routine. Everything seems askew in my life when I'm not spilling my guts to internet strangers. Hearts.
Dec 9, 2011

Stuff I Want

Folks, it's Christmas list time. This is the stuff I think I need this year....

Brain-Sharpening Stuff: Kindle Fire
I've been struggling about which Kindle I want for weeks. I really like the traditional Kindles' E Ink, which this doesn't have. But it does SO many more things, maybe I'm willing to sacrifice the E Ink. Do any of you have one? Thoughts?

Tasty Snacks-Makin' Stuff: Crock Pot

I keep finding delicious Crock Pot recipes. There's seemingly no way to mimic the crock magic with my kitchen tools. I think my first thing will be a pot roast. I feel like that's the only suitable and American way to break one in.

Butt-Slimmin' stuff: Lululemon Groove Pants


I go to a fancy gym now. I feel like the kid in 2nd grade without LA Lights in my boring gym threads. Everyone raves about these damn things. Rumor is that it's impossible to rock a camel toe in them. Interested. They must be good for the absurd price. I might have to treat myself for those New Years resolutions.

Good-Smellin' Stuff: Chanel Coco Mademoiselle


Favorite fragrance ever. I recently ran out and have been forced to use my 2nd tier perfumes. I feel like I smell like a foot without the Coco. I'm aware that this is extremely irrational.... but I think it's just that good.

Eye-Prettying Stuff: NARS Arabian Nights Palette
There's glitter galore in that little pup. Need.

Let's just face it. This is about as committed to good karma as I'll ever be. And it's pretty. We all win.

What's on your Christmas list?!
Dec 8, 2011

You're as cuddly as a cactus

I've of course been jamming full-time to Christmas tunes in my car this week. Duh. I was stopped at a light and "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" came on. I've probably heard this song hundreds of times, but am only this year appreciating it's full greatness.

Soundtrack for this post:


(Quick fun fact: the guy that sings this song is the same one that's the voice of Tony the Tiger saying "YOU'RE GREEE-AAAAT!!" Totes can tell.)

Anyway, back to the point.... I'd never sat down and really listened to the words. They're pretty genius. Like really genius. And since we're absorbing English/writing/pneumonic greatness here at Poodleism today, get a load of these. My favorites are in green.

You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch!
You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
Mr. Grinch!
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch!
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Grinch!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"
You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
Mr. Grinch!
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Mr. Grinch!
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

I will be using the phrase "your soul is an appalling dump-heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable" soon. VERY SOON.

I love it. But really, am I the only person who greatly appreciates extremely well-written cultural nuggets? And cultural nuggets having to do with the wretched-ness of a Christmas hater, at that?!

Lasagna and Portmanteaus

Hello all! Last night Roommate and I threw something of a dinner party for some favorite buddies.

We made lasagna, given then chilly weather and big guest list. Perfect choice. This was my first attempt at a home-made, from scratch (ish), lasagna. Roommate is a pro at it. For some reason, I've always had a mental block about it -- lots of ingredients, lots of steps, lots of spices. That's just dumb. Here's a not-so-great iPhone pic of the final product:


Martha Stewart did me right again. You really can't fail with her recipes -- like ever. The gooey/crispy mozzarella top stole the show. I don't really know why I was so intimidated. I've made many far more complicated deserts. Guess I can cross that off the bucket list.

Anyway, in the course of our very sophisticated dinner chat, we got on the topic of Portmanteaus. Have you ever heard that word? I consider myself something of a connoisseur and purveyor of the English language and it's really never graced my ears. Seriously though, it's a weird word. 


I love this new thing I've learned. (Sidenote: the dictionary thinks a Portmanteau is a leather, hinged suitcase...I intend to use it in that sense of the word just as soon as I can...but that may never happen). 

The best part? We use them ALL THE TIME. Of course, friends and I had to brainstorm every single one we could think of. Warning, the majority of them are of the comedic and slightly off-color variety...

Frenemy (that's how it all started, regarding our 2 dogs)
Cankles
Slore (slut + whore)
Jorts
Jeggings
Shmammered (smashed + hammered. say that all the time)
Shart (tee hee)
Gaydar
Bromance
Bootylicious
Crunk
FroYo
Lactard (lactose intolerant person)
Mactard (Apple computer incompetent person)
Scategories
Gipster (gay hipster. pretty common thing in these parts)

There are also so many that I forget even come from 2 words...

Brunch (could this one have started it all?!)
Spork
Camcorder
Breathalyzer

Then, in an unprecedented (and merlot-fueled) intellectual endeavor, we attempted to come up with a legit word that incorporates THREE unique words. The only one?

TURDUCKEN

Well, I'm really glad we got to the bottom of this whole Portmanteau thing. My next goal is to play it in scrabble or in some sort of trivia setting. Stay tuned...
Dec 7, 2011

Christmas Cards, help me

Today, I need the Pinterest. My brain is about to explode with too much serious S. So glad to be linking up with Michelle at the Vintage Apple!


google


It's almost time for the Prince and I's annual holiday card. I'm really struggling for ideas for a unique photo this time. I really really like this idea....


I think you get the gist.

But tell me, internet,  how can we get me in there? Do you any bright/clever ideas for a unique way to incorporate me and the prince that isn't totally boring and doesn't highlight the lack of man or baby in the photo? That last point is crucial. I'm all for something completely funny and off the wall. HELP. 

Just for giggles: I wish I had a couple of these to warm my holidays:


Hearts.

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