Jul 26, 2011

Mogul-dom...how do I do it?

All of a sudden I've been dropped into the deep end of the professional pool. All of a sudden, with no warning, like a damn tsunami, I'm busy...very busy. I'm in Dallas this week for work and am oh-ver-whelmed. Me:


Stick around...I'll hopefully be out of this abyss soon. I've got lots to be excited about and lots to tell you about. Poodleism even had a birthday while I've been buried! 

So riddle me this....how do you balance the work world, friends, the odyssey that is being a single girl and some amount of personal enrichment all at one time? Is there anyway to achieve mogul-dom gracefully? Anyway to do it without copious amounts of Malbec? Or, dare I say it....without a man? Help. Need tips.

Hearts.
Jul 22, 2011

Friday, July 22, 2011


Happy, Happy Friday all! Today I've got lots to do in the work and errands department. I typically avoid all productivity on Friday, but today there's no choice in the matter. Boo. But, rest assured, there's always time to peruse the internet for genius nuggets like these....

1. Casey Anthony-related bizarre-ity fascinates me. This week I've seen this ridiculous ad:

(sidenote: what the hell is up with that awful grammar? I guess it would have to be an illiterate person
 to think this sign was ok in the first place...)

...and this absurd dunking booth:


What is the world coming to? I don't know where I stand on her guilt or innocence, but I really don't support cult fame for possibly murdering a sweet baby. More than anything, I guess I'm just weirded out. I'm sort of ready for her to fade away...or at least onto a foreign soap opera or reality show.

2. Quote(s) of the week:
"I wanted them not to be turned off by something that was of their culture. They ate them like Doritos, and they wouldn't stop. They brought to-go boxes home and I had to actually ban the cricket eating at a certain point because I was afraid they were going to get sick from too many. They're good. They're like potato chips." -- Angelina Jolie, re: her children's love of eating crickets
Wait, what? I know it's probably natural, but the Jolie-Pitt babies eating crap off the ground sicks me out and just feels wrong. Specifically, Maddox and Pax (Asia natives) are the bug snackers. I'm all for eating organic, but this feels very "look at me, I'm famous, I do weird stuff"-ish to me. 
"Rob, I was very pleasantly surprised by your back muscles in the trailer, I think I speak for all of us when I say: NOM-NOM-NOM." -- random Twilight fan to RPatz in the Breaking Dawn panel at Comic Con
Wait, hold the phone. Was that me? Who broke into my brain and told him my thoughts? I love this quote. Real people are so funny, I should quote them more. And, of course you know I agree, the muscles are fantastic:


Yes, it's a nipple. Yes, it's real. Yes, she has one on both feet. It's a rare disease called "pseudomamma." Here are my questions: Is it sensitive like a normal nipple? (sexy...kind of) Can a baby eat out of it? Does it hurt to step on? Does she buy pasties for it? Does anyone I know in the real world have a nipple in their shoe and I don't even know it? Personally I hate feet, but isn't this a foot fetish-ist's wet dream?...I love stupid human stories. Bless this lady's heart, she probably doesn't think it's funny, but I sure do.

4. Krazy Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for using a model that looks like her. Yeah, you read that right. Nobody is even allowed to resemble her. This is the look-alike:


She thinks the company is trying to trick people into thinking she's a spokesmodel and she believes it's costing her $15-20 MILLION dollars. Um....what? This might be the most ego-maniacal thing I've ever heard. Honestly. I'll admit this model is definitely a doppelganger, but really is it a crime to be a voluptuous and beautiful Armenian-American these days? Maybe so. We all know the Kardashians are the only ones in this nation allowed to be voluptuous and beautiful Armenian-Americans. Duh, Old Navy.

5. Space News: Pluto has a new moon! Pluto, the newest non-planet, apparently has a moon we've just learned about. That makes the total 4! The new little mini-moon is only 21 miles wide and will just be called P4 for now. 


It's like it wants to be a planet so bad. Pluto, the little planet that could. Poor, little guy.

What fascinates me about this is that a moon just kind of crept onto the scene all of a sudden. After all the hulla-balloo a couple of years ago about the planet demotion, how didn't they see this? That's what I love about space. Surprises everyday. It's like each time they look into the Hubble telescope they're looking at a jack-in-the-box. You know there will be a surprise, but you're surprised every time anyway. Mind blown.

6. "J-WOW and her boobies are going to Italy"...


Yes, the much-anticipated, real Italy season of the Jersey Shore is coming soon and I can't wait. Highlights: Snookie wrecks a car. Deena is a meatball. Ronnie beats the hell out of Mike. J-WOW has a fake-r face. Pauly and Vinnie are freaking precious. I CANNOT WAIT. That's all, just excitement. August 4th, baby.

7. The Nickelodeon reboot is HAPPENING. I've blogged about this before, but the revival of favorite 1990's Nick shows is actually coming true! And it starts on Monday! From 12 midnight to 4 a.m. every night, Nickelodeon will be re-airing classics like Keenan & Kel, All That, Clarissa Explains it All, and Doug! Yes! Viva Quail Man!

I hope they add Salute your Shorts and Hey Dude to the lineup. Those were my absolute favorites! I doubted this story when I first read it, but it's real. And it's Monday. I've gotta be sure to set my coffee pot to brew, I have a feeling I'll be up all night re-living my television glory days. Hooray!

I hope you have a weekend full of frills, thrills and some debauchery. I'm headed out of town for a going away party for some dear friends (pout.). I'm happy and sad. Mostly happy, there will be costumes. I love a theme party. I really do. Photos to come... Thanks for playing!

Fill in the Blank Friday!

Good Morning and happy Friday! Today, just a little writing about myself for Lauren's....

Yay!

1.   One of my happiest moments ever was  when I found out I got into law school. I didn't end up going (thank heavens), but I worked my little tail off to get my GPA up, take the LSATs and apply. It was like a 2-year process and it was so encouraging to come out of it victorious. Now, if I were a lawyer today, it may be another story. I love the feeling that I could have been.

2.  Summer is wedding season and weddings are    FUN. Sometimes I can get a little bit down about wedding season, It's hard to be the single girl. But, lately I've really been thriving in the the greatness that is a party thrown for people you love that you get to enjoy with other people you love...and typically, you get to wear a cute outfit. YES!

Me and two friends over-partaking in wedding fun. 

3.  This summer     I've been LOVING my new home in Austin. I've gotten to go out on the lake several times (thanks friends who've invited me) and am rockin' the best tan I've had in years. In Dallas I didn't get nearly as many opportunities to enjoy sun and surf (or lake).

This floating stroke of genius is called a "Relaxation Station" and is pretty much the comfiest way to enjoy the lake.

4.  My summer food of choice has been   Fruit, fruit, fruit. I eat healthy fresh fruits year round, but I recently have been living off the stuff. Cool and light, it's the best snack ever. Hi, can you say frozen grapes? Nom Nom Nom.

5.  My summer uniform has been     sundresses. It's literally too hot (triple digits for the last month) for pants. The flowy, breeze-welcoming freedom of a dress is about all I can handle. A rough thing about the summer is that without jeans on (ever) I can't ever tell when the muffin tops are creeping up. That may be an ugly September surprise. For now, bright dresses galore.

6.  If I could spend the entire summer in one location I would choose    perhaps Denver, CO. I just got back from there and it was like stupid perfect. Ordinarily I'd tell you the beach, but this may be a whole new world of favorite climates for me...

I snapped this beauty on my hike last weekend, before I blacked out and gave up trying....

7.  My summer anthem is  "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People. It's a new discovery and I'm LOVING. Light, upbeat....fun. They're coming to ACL Festival in September and I can't wait!


Friday hearts. Stay tuned for newsflash greatness!
Jul 21, 2011

Brace yourself for lots of vagina talk

Seriously, adult content today. Don't read on if you're uncomfortable with cooter jokes.

So, today I came across this really bizarre-o thing. Summer's Eve (yes, the vagina soap and douche company) is going through something of a re-imaging and has come out with these WEIRD, weird, weird ads that feature talking vaginas.  Not only are they talking, they're ethnic. See what I mean...here's the African-American vag:

"Wunder Down Under"...genius.

There's also a Latina one, who bitches about  having to be trapped in a leopard thong:

Am I the only one who finds infinite humor in picturing a real cooter going on a slurred and angry Spanish vent session?

And a white girl, who's lamenting about going to the gym, uses the term "BFF" and hates getting a smelly "vertical smile"...

(By the way, "vertical smile" is something I'll be saying all the time now. Sorry, real life friends.)

WOW. I can't decide what's stranger, the hand-puppet lady parts or the racial stereotypes. It leaves me wondering what kind of attitude/accent my hoo-ha would have? I would assume it's something like my normal voice...sarcastic, perverted. Honestly, these are pretty hilarious to me. And brave. You know a douche company has got to get creative if they want you to warm up to their product. I'm on board.

There are tons more on Summer's Eve's website. Like this one, all about "Finding your V." Yes, it's finding your box.You can even take a quiz to test your personal beaver knowledge. I took the quiz. And was able to only properly identify 3 of the 5 vagina parts. Oops, maybe I shouldn't be making fun of this. Embarrassing. If you're too dumb to pass the quiz (like me), there's a precious little informative presentation here

You know, we modern women don't get enough educational material about our vajayjays. I welcome this informative little treat. And, I even know the best product for keeping things sparkly and shiny down there. Summer's Eve...duh! 

Thanks for sticking with me on this one. It's my blog and I'll be a perv if I want to.
Jul 20, 2011

Wedding Weekend Recap!

This past weekend I was lucky enough to go to one of the best weddings I've been to in a long time, maybe ever. I was one of six bridesmaids for a dear friend who threw her matrimony bash in beautiful Beaver Creek, CO. It was, start-to-finish, a pretty epic weekend. Here's a little run-down...

Thursday:
After crazy amounts of travel, we enjoyed a pool day:


...and a little happy hour meet-and-greet at sunset:


Both = Beautiful.

That night we took things out a little hard on the partying. I've really got to work on that.

Friday:
The whole wedding party went on ridiculously scenic mountain hike. Everone started out all smiles:


Some people turned around, but me and a couple buddies opted to keep hiking with the boys. It turned out to be really, really long and tough. But, I wouldn't take it back, now that I think about it. We hiked up the mountain to the tiny and remote, Beaver Lake. I probably will never get to see it again. I bitched and moaned, but definitely worth it.

We also had rehearsing to do. The wedding scene was beautiful and the weather was pretty fabulous:


Yes, that's a roaring river behind us...amazing. I'm, of course, the one in the blue dress not paying attention. Another thing that might be worth working on.... At the rehearsal dinner there were gifts, speeches and a sweet photo slideshow. It was a nice little night, for sure.

Saturday:
We all spent most of the day getting ready. Hair and makeup appointments galore. I got a bunk updo, and had a mini meltdown. Luckily, I was surrounded by best friends who could help me fix it and get my mood right again. Aren't friends just the best?

Finally, we were all ready to go:


You can't see them, but we're all wearing yellow shoes, which came out super cute. I was skeptical, but it was precious.  Pre-wedding, the bride started to get the jitters and requested a boozey drink. Bless her heart, the only thing we had was Miller Lite:


All of our college friends shared this moment, which albeit totally white trash, is something I'll never forget. You can take the girls out of Texas, but can't take the Texas out of the girls. It's an odd memory that I cherish.

The ceremony and reception were flawless. The food was great, the dancing was wild and the photobooth was in full swing:


I wish I had a mini photobooth folded up in my pocket that I could just pop out and use all the time. I think they're so funny.

We had some travel chaos, but despite that, the weekend was perfect. I had a great little vacay with alot of my best buddies. I even got to meet some awesome new friends. ;) I thoroughly enjoy meeting new people, and at a wedding they're already pre-screened! I'm interested and excited to see what comes of these newbies....

I LOVED Colorado in the summer. It was perfect and beautiful. I'm sad the whole thing is over. I want to do it all over again....

 Do you ever get that feeling?
Jul 19, 2011

500. What the hell?

This is my 500th post. HOLY AMAZEBALLS, BATMAN! I just kind of noticed it perusing through some of my older stuff and it amazed me! This of course has me thing all these ex-essential things like.... What am I really doing here? How did I find 500 things to babble about? Who's reading all these 500 babblings? What's it all been for?...blah, blah, blah

Ex-essential crises usually ending up hogging a few full days of thought, and I'm going to try to avoid that on this rainy Tuesday. I have another pivotal blog-oversary coming up very soon, so come back then for the obligatory "2 years in Review" post. It's going to be good. I think I may actually get into some touchy feely shiz about everything that's happened to me in these two years, so get excited for that. 

But, for today, I'm going to stick with the only thing that comes to my mind when I think of the number "500" - the precious piece of cinematic glory that is 500 Days of Summer. Here are a few of my favorite things:

Best. game. ever.



Cute is about all I'm prepared to aim for these days. 

Now I think I've got to go watch the movie. It usually makes me cry. The love and the cuteness send me straight to tears. I've been teary alot these days at the sight of romance, but I don't think that's a pile of insane that I'm ready to analyze.....I digress.

Anyway, 500 posts. I'm proud...a rare emotional treat. 

Formal HP Apology

Yesterday I made some disparaging remarks about Harry Potter mania. This has offended. I've gotten emails/comments/texts from all sort of people. I didn't really realize what a hot button issue I was touching on. I've heard alot of this kind of talk.

So, officially, I'm sorry.

I'm in no position to hate on anyone's book/movie franchise mania. If anything, I get it. It's just not my particular brand of freak fandom. 


I try to keep things non controversial on this blog. I avoid politics, religion, general negativity and deeply personal thoughts. But, HP is the thing that gets everyone all riled up. Lesson learned. 

I remain a Twilight loyalist, but I guess we magic-themed novel freak-os are all in it together.Can't we all just be friends?

Apologies. Still love me?
Jul 18, 2011

Bandwagons...On one, off another

After a long weekend away, I'm catching up on all my favorite blogs. All anyone seemed to talk about this weekend was Harry Potter and Pinterest. So, I'll tell you...

I'm not a Potter fan. I'm ready for the craziness to go away.




I'm still figuring it out. In fact, I'm overwhelmed. I'm determined to be "pinning" like a fiend by the end of the week or so, but in the meantime, where the balls do I start? Please give me tips/thoughts/ suggestions. I'll follow you on the thing, just tell me who you are!

There will be a massive photo recap of the giant Colorado wedding extravaganza shortly. I'm honestly not read to admit that I'm back in boring, real, non-vacation, life yet....

Oh, and don't forget about this:


Mingle 240
Jul 13, 2011

Ring Finger with pizazz

Lately I've hopped on the trend wagon again. I missed out on the whole feather extension thing (I feel like too many people were doing it when I got my S together), but I'll be damned if something hip happens in nail polish and I don't partake.

I've been seeing in magazines and around my little universe that the hot new thing is to paint your 4th finger (ring finger) a different color. Read about it here or here

I can't find a reason for it, except coolness. I've tried it a couple of times, including today (try to disregard the manhands, I was born with them. Thanks, dad)...


Orangey/coral and purple. LOVING IT. I think I'm totally sold on this little trendy item.

So tell me, thoughts? Have you jumped on board? Do you know why people are doing this? I hope coolness is the only explanation....color me cool, friends.

Is there such a thing as too much poodle?

A sweet friend (and loyal reader, whose birthday is right around the corner!) alerted me to this video. Brace yourselves, it's possibly the awkwardest thing that's ever graced this blog:


If something comes across my radar this poodle-centric, I can't not share. It would be a disservice to the Prince. God forbid...

It is a total parody, but lets pretend like it isn't. Here are my questions:

How did she get poodle pom-pom shaped limbs?
WTF is up with the poodles working out in the background?
Is this creepy or total genius?

To be totally honest with you, I just had a little mini nightmare (or is it daymare at 3:30 p.m.?) sitting here watching this. What if that happened to me? What if I became too much of a poodle lover? What I die alone surrounded by my 100 poodles? People starting to look like their dogs is a real-ish thing:


I think I'm going to continue to envision my poodle crazy-ness a little more glamourous, like this:




Anyway, that video is a weird thing and I'm having weird thoughts about it. 

Happy Wednesday! 
Jul 12, 2011

WillKat, I've missed you.

I know I've been a little off the blog game lately, but don't you think for a second I haven't been keeping up with the spectacular festival of glamor and splendor that is WillKat's visit to America. There will always be a place on this blog for mindless princess-related chatter. ALWAYS.

Of course, she looked stunning, I'm swooning over these looks:

Oh hey, repeat dress. That LWD is from the engagement photos. She sassed it up with some red, in honor of Canada. I always wonder what it would be like to wear one of those little fascinator hats. I think I'd be compelled to hold my neck in a weird way (...like the move where you're trying to shake water from your ear, kind of thing). She has it down pat, obviously.

 "I think I need a lavender dress, darling. I know! I'll just reach up, pluck down some clouds and dye them the perfect color. I'm a duchess, I can do that, you know."

Texasy Duchess. LOVE. Really, she was in Canada, but who's counting, right?

This outfit doesn't really do wonders for me, but that hair. Sweet angels have been sitting around for centuries weaving that weave into the most splendid, perfectly-volumized coif we've ever seen. My hair = curling iron's worst nightmare. I get straight, straighter, or sweaty. She gets angels. 

 You don't see this color alot, but I love it for summer. I love a man in a blue suit, especially a prince, and my eye doesn't go to him in this photo...possibly a first. I can imagine her saying..."Look at you, all handsome. Oh no I will NOT let you outshine me! Try to top this color, baldy! You lose, I'm a DUCHESS! BAHAHAHAHAH"

I'm all about royal/cobalt blue these days. I'd probably be needing some royal/cobalt blue Spanxx to go along with this little number. Damn that skinny duchess!

But this one, I'm not sure what she was thinking:
Maybe she was practicing her Pollyanna Halloween costume (Thanks mom, for arming me with that perfect reference). I guess we all get do-over days. I might have run through mine for the year already. Oops.

See the full slideshow of fashion here.

Here's a full recap of what they did:


GASP....she repeated outfits!! She wore her favorite jeans "several" days in a row. Princesses, theyr'e just like US!

Anyway, Thank the sweet heavens I still have WillKat. I was worried that after the wedding they'd become old new. Oh, hells to the no!
Jul 11, 2011

Miscellany Monday

Miscellany is about all I can squeeze out of my brainspace for today, ALOT has been happening in my world. I've been one busy little bumble bee lately, sorry for the hiatus.

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

1. GOT A NEW HOME!


Yes, I have a proper, official house in Austin, TX. Gypsy time is officially over. All my stuff has been delivered and I'm settling in. I'm loving my new roommates... alot. Sorry, no photographic evidence of the new place, I feel weird showing my house to the stranger-filled internet.

2. I had a fabulous weekend with my best Dallas buddy. She popped down to check out my new digs and be my partner in crime for the weekend. We might have gone a little crazy on the whole "crime" part of it Friday night. I'm still picking up the pieces...

3. I went to see Horrible Bosses and LOVED it. I've been over Jennifer Aniston for a long time, and finally she gets a role where we're supposed to not like her. I really, really enjoyed it, and the whole movie. The boys were HIGH-larious, especially Jason Sudeikis, who may be getting close to admittance into the fantasy boyfriends club:

...but not quite yet.

4.  I got my little love puppy back:

This lazy little prince is finally back in my world and I couldn't be happier. I didn't have him for 6 weeks while in gypsy mode and it was KILLING me. He seems to be undecided on our new living situation, but warming up to it everyday. He can be a real diva sometimes....wonder where he learned that?

5. It's hot as balls: 


We all know this, but triple digits all week? Really? Do we have to? Also, notice the ridiculousness that is the iPhone thinking today's high is lower than the current temperature. It's rare that I call the magical iPhone machine dumb, but that's dumb. 

6. Vacay this weekend!


One of my favorite pals is tying the knot this weekend in beautiful Beaver Creek, CO. I'm all a dither getting ready to leave Thursday, but can't wait to spend a relaxing getaway with friends and escape the heat. Stay all your strongest prayers that the alterations lady comes through on my bridesmaid's dress. She will, but I'm nervous. Dress perfection or not, I CANNOT WAIT! 

Well, miscellany is what I promised. Happy Monday!

....hope you've all been well! I've missed you! 
Jul 4, 2011

Happy Birthday, America!

I hope you'e all having a wonderful 4th of July! Look at this badass thing I found:

Unicorns, fireworks, America....OH, MY.

Today I'm kind of celebrating, kind of moving. So, good things are happening all around! I've been thinking all weekend about my favorite things about America. In no particular order, here goes:


Texas
Bluebonnet season...heaven.

Pie
I think I need to make one, like stat. It's gotta be apple, right?

Democracy
We all get to vote here. That's not everywhere. I don't appreciate that enough

Blue Jeans
Whether or not they're Wranglers on a cowboy's cute butt we're talking about, denim is a pretty fabulous thing we contributed to the world.

Girls get to do whatever they want.
...also not the case everywhere in the world.

Edward, Chuck and Tim
I had to. Just had to.

I'm realizing now that I've selected some pretty cliche things, but, honestly, they're the best. I'm beaming with love for everything this 4th of July Monday. I'm loving our country, I'm loving being off work, I'm loving my new home, I'm loving it all! Watch out, I'm in a sparkly happy mood....this doesn't happen everyday.

Happy 4th of July!

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