Dec 8, 2011
You're as cuddly as a cactus
I've of course been jamming full-time to Christmas tunes in my car this week. Duh. I was stopped at a light and "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" came on. I've probably heard this song hundreds of times, but am only this year appreciating it's full greatness.
(Quick fun fact: the guy that sings this song is the same one that's the voice of Tony the Tiger saying "YOU'RE GREEE-AAAAT!!" Totes can tell.)
Anyway, back to the point.... I'd never sat down and really listened to the words. They're pretty genius. Like really genius. And since we're absorbing English/writing/pneumonic greatness here at Poodleism today, get a load of these. My favorites are in green.
You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch
You have termites in your smile.
You're the king of sinful sots!
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
I will be using the phrase "your soul is an appalling dump-heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable" soon. VERY SOON.
I love it. But really, am I the only person who greatly appreciates extremely well-written cultural nuggets? And cultural nuggets having to do with the wretched-ness of a Christmas hater, at that?!
Soundtrack for this post:
Anyway, back to the point.... I'd never sat down and really listened to the words. They're pretty genius. Like really genius. And since we're absorbing English/writing/pneumonic greatness here at Poodleism today, get a load of these. My favorites are in green.
You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch!
You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
Mr. Grinch!
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch!
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Grinch!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"
You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
Mr. Grinch!
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap, Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Mr. Grinch!
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!
I will be using the phrase "your soul is an appalling dump-heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable" soon. VERY SOON.
I love it. But really, am I the only person who greatly appreciates extremely well-written cultural nuggets? And cultural nuggets having to do with the wretched-ness of a Christmas hater, at that?!
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Love the "you're a crooked jerky jockey" part! Hilarious! I love the Grinch!
ReplyDeleteI love the Grinch too! "You have all of the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile!" Too funny.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I've never really listened to the lyrics either. Those are really great!
ReplyDeleteAh, I just love Dr. Seuss! My favorite part is the seasick crocodile part!!!
ReplyDeleteI, too, only truly noticed the greatness of it this year. The cactus part is my favorite.
ReplyDelete