Poodleism: Friday, August 5 2011

Hi and happy Friday friends! I'm in a shiney happy mood today and you can't stop me. I've had a busy, but productive and fun week. I'm ready for a weekend. I have a couple exciting little tidbits happening, and hopefully will be able to get some sun. Yay! Here are the newsie nuggets I'm loving this week:

1. Princesses! They're just like us! Last weekend WillKat headed Will's cousin's, Zara Phillips, wedding. On their way back home, they flew commercial in non-first class seats! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP. They each paid $27 for their ticket and another $16 to check a bag. While it is shocking that they flew amongst the normals, how in the balls were those seats so cheap? I can only imagine the lucky little duckies who were in the row next to them. You know that feeling where you're sitting in a plane seat holding your breath every time you see an obese person or baby comes on board, squirm until they pass your row? Next time WillKat could come through the door! SWOON. On top of all this economy flying, she wore a repeat outfit:

I can't get enough of these two. Just can't.

2. Texas might be the hottest state. Ever. Last month, 11 U.S. cities reached the highest average temperatures in recorded history. Five of the those were in Texas. Kill me now.

Washington, D.C. - 84.5° (records since 1871)
Baltimore, Md. - 81.7° (records since 1870)
Philadelphia, Pa. - 82.4° (records since 1872)
Detroit, Mich. - 79.2° (records since 1874)
Fort Wayne, Ind. - 79.8° (records since 1897)
Oklahoma City, Okla. - 89.2° (records since 1890)
Austin, Texas - 89.7° (records since 1854)
Amarillo, Texas - 85.2° (records since 1892)
Lubbock, Texas - 86.0° (records since 1911)
Childress, Texas - 90.2° (records since 1893)

Wichita Falls, Texas - 92.9° (records since 1897)

Those temperatures seem low, but that's the average...so including nighttime. I've been melting lately and this makes me feel like I'm not the only one. Things are getting crazy enough that they're considering mandatory blackouts since people are using so much energy. That makes no sense to me. You can literally cook an egg outside. It blows my mind that it may never have been this hot, but certainly not since 1893, in Austin. WTF.

3. It's going to be cheaper to be a woman. Beginning August 1, 2012, insurance companies will be required to pay 100% for birth control and other preventive medicine without copays. Some other stuff that will now be free (if you're insured) includes: breast pumps for nursing mothers, an annual "well-woman" physical, including screening for the virus that causes cervical cancer, HIV, and gestational diabetes, and counseling for domestic violence. I don't want to get all political on you, but this is a big deal and I support it. Now if we could only get waxing and manicures, we'd all be set! Thanks, Obama!

4. Quote of the week:

"I've found glitter anywhere a person could find glitter. I've choked on glitter. I found it behind the backs of my eyelids. Even in my food, in my beer. It clogs my shower after every show. There's glitter in my piss. It's so gross." - Ke$ha

Oh Ke$ha, how I've missed you. We all know she's glittery, but in her pee? And no, I cannot use the word she used. Women should never say "piss." Right? I like her sweet musical jams, but I think I might like her frequently-quoted word vomit better. I think I'm going to endeavor to wake up with glitter in the backs of my eyelids this weekend. Then I'll know I partied....

5. Health breakthrough: drinking wine could help protect you from sunburn. JACKPOT. This bodes perfectly for what I might have on the horizon for the weekend. Spanish science geniuses think that the chemicals found in grapes and wine could help protect your cells from sun damage. They found that "flavonoids in the grapes can stop the chemical reaction that causes cells to die and therefore skin damage." I don't know what a "flavonoid" is, but I think I like it. This is perfect. I love wine and I've been basking alot these days. Thanks science, for finally making up something so perfect for me. YES!

6. An electronic sommelier exists. Somewhere in Spain (they're doing all the cool wine stuff, it seems) they've invented an electronic device that can "taste" subtle differences in types of Cava (a white sparkling wine). The device uses biosensors to obtain chemical information and computerized math systems to interpret that data in the way the human brain and nerve system would. What the H? That's like real Jetsons stuff, right there. This device takes the human element out of wine production quality control and critiquing. This little gadget is more sophisticated than our palates. This is a mind-blowing technology, but Boo. I'm sick of technology stealing away all my dream jobs.

7. The force will be with you...on the road. Garmin has added Darth Vader and Yoda voices to the choices for their navigation devices. I love this. You're driving down the road and master Yoda himself tells you where to turn and stuff. That's probably the closes i'll ever get to being a jedi. Here's a sample:

The Vader one is a little scary. I don't like it as much. I've since learned that TomTom has these options too, and I'm a TomTom-er! Yay!

8. J.Crew failed science. They recently used a window display featuring "The Elements of Syle." One of these isn't like the other:

That's a dumb, dumb thing. I don't know if I would have noticed it, nor would the average J. Crew shopper, but come on, people. I'm embarrassed for the stylist or advertising person who effed this all up. Giggle.

Well gals, have a terrific weekend. I'm ready to start mine. Damn the business day always getting in the way of what I want to be doing.

Friday, August 5 2011

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