Poodleism: Royal Wedding - the wheels are officially off

Apr 19, 2011

Royal Wedding - the wheels are officially off

Now, I'm probably one of the most obsessed of Royal Wedding anticipators, but some people really are losing touch with real life when it comes to this whole thing. A dear work friend, fellow blogger, and fellow Royal Wedding-crazed person, turned me on to this slideshow of some of the most absurd memorobilia:

Cereal

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I love cereal, these are awesome. But, what's weird to me about it is that the happy couple got their own separate box designs. It doesn't seem all that matrimonious to me. But, then again, neither does Will's horse face on his box.

Head Cut out Duvet

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At a wonderfully tasteful hotel in England, you can stay in a room with this bed spread. When you lay in the covers, your heads are on Will and Kate's bodies. How precious...and creepy. I can only imagine how filthy that thing is where people have petted the William and Kate bodies. Sick.

Schweppes Products

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Now this is just weird. Schweppes isn't putting out a new product, or even re-designing the label, just including the words "Royal Wedding" on the bottles to sell more. Now that's just lazy. Give me a break. But I will admit, if I'm shopping for ginger ale, I'd probably buy this one over the boring old normal bottle.

Pizza

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I already want to lick all over Prince William's face - and that's before it was made out of ham. Now, I don't know if I could control myself. Pappa John's is making this commemorative pie. Yes, it's completely edible. Yes, it's very bizarre. Now that I know this is possible, I'm going to need to see one with Brangelina and their whole army of babies on it. Like now. Pappa John's is going to figure out how to pizza-fy other ethnicities for that one. I'm on the edge of my seat...

Toilet Seat Cover

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When you need to poop, don't forget about the royal couple! It's like they're staring at you saying, "Hey, you there, welcome to the bathroom. We're glad your in here. Please, do your business, and don't forget how good looking we are! Toodle-oo!" ...That's actually kind of nice, come to think of it.

Nail Decals

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Now these are kind of gross. On top of being highly unattractive, it seems kind of blasphemous to get all your commoner grime on Kate Middleton's face. I'm imagining myself scrubbing down a smelly, mud-covered little poodle with the royal couple's likeness on my fingertips. (That's when I always seem to ruin my nails otherwise.) It just seems wrong....and super W.T. But, I would like to see this in a Brangelina version also, I think.

CONDOMS