Mar 25, 2011

Happy Friday to ya! I've had a painstakingly long week and am chomping at the bit to get home and relax before I have bachelorette party Bacchanalia all weekend....

1. Pole dancing for jesus. No, it isn't opposite day. You read that right. There is a place near Houston, called Old Town Spring (this is somewhere I've been several times and is way too close to my home), where you can take Christian pole dancing fitness classes. The class is set to Christian music and young girls come to the classes on Sunday to feel the burn and be good Christian girls. The instructor said, "God gives us these bodies and they are suppose to be our temples and we are suppose to take care of them and that's what we are doing," Supposedly the class goers are "getting closer to God." The girls are all wearing 6-inch clear heels in the class and humping those poles like they've got bills to pay.  This just seems stupid. I guess I'm not anyone to judge how you do your religion, but the Baptist-raised girl in me is giving them a major side eye.

2. Celebrate the royal wedding with a commemorative fridge! If you're looking for just that special piece to crystallize the magical wedding day in your kitchen forever, you can own this full-size GE refrigerator emblazoned with their royal faces:
A distributor from the company said, “It certainly wipes the floor with your usual commemorative tea towels and mugs and is most definitely one of the most novel royal wedding products we have seen." That's for damn sure. If there's one skinny bitch whose face I don't want staring at me when I'm digging through the freezer for my Ben and Jerry's, it's hers. I do hope this becomes a trend...I would buy a Beyonce fridge in an instant.

3. Bieber's eBay hair is on tour! And it's raising money for Japan! Ellen Degeneres auctioned Bieber's shorn hair for over $40,000. Now, the luscious locks are headed around the country on tour. The first stop is a bowling alley in Miami. You can drop in and pay to have your photo taken with the hair. All the proceeds will be donated to Japan relief. While, I think it's such an awesome thing that they're putting that hair to work for good, this is one of the most insane Bieber-isms I've heard of yet. Right?  I hope something truly wacky goes down at this event, like a crazed teen tries to eat the hair or something...we Americans will really rally around a cause if there's a teen heartthrob involved. Or even just his hair.  Ridiculous.

4. Ultrasound girdle - get excited. World, meet the PreVue:


This little ditty is a girdle you can wear and be able to see your fetus at all times! It's still in the concept phase, so don't go run out and try to pick you up one of these gemstones. I don't know why this fascinates me so much. Generally, pregnancy makes me tense, but this thing is amazing. I'm imagining that you can also see everything else in your stomach - things like Thin Mints, and hot dogs, and gummy worms. Is that just my stomach?

5. Madonna shoes. I don't mean shoes designed by or worn by her, I mean shoes that look like her. Yes, they're real:
These are amazeballs - a veritable shoe MindF. I'm having difficulty conceiving of the fact that a single shoe includes all of these things: cone bra, headset microphone and a blonde ponytail. All of that, and you can still wear them! I don't know why, but I think I might need to own these.

6. Quote of the week:
"He's extremely dashing, like an old-world movie star. He's incredibly concrete in his presence. . .and is obviously very handsome...I think, he's going to be a really serious actor. He's a really good actor." -- Uma Thurman re: Robert Pattinson (my sweet, sweet Edward angel)
I figured I hadn't praised R-Patz in way too long. Also, she's a 40-year-old woman. This validates everything for me. Not only is she a real grown up (something I'm not sure if I am or not), she's smokin' hot and talented in her own right (also questionable for me). If Uma crushes on him this hard, it's ok for the rest of us, dangit. YES!

So, that's all folks! I hope everyone has a supermagical weekend. I'll be participating in in an all-out festival of fun. There will be brunch, pool, delicious food, friends and of course booze. Can't. wait. Love you!

4 comments:

  1. You are kidding me. Old Town Spring has pole dancing classes?! I am in shock. Wow.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just laughed my ass off at the Christian pole dancing.

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  3. LOL... I laughed at pretty much everything, but the Christian pole dancing takes the cake! I have got to try this class. Old Town Spring is about 45 min to an hour from me, but I think it would be well worth the drive on a Saturday to witness this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow. I think that's all I've got for this one... But seriously, I had seen something on the Christian pole dancing. Agreed on the not wanting to judge, but I really don't know that sweet baby Jesus condones humping a pole.

    That ultrasound contraption is freaky. I wouldn't do well with one of those, I think I'd just sit in front of a mirror and watch my baby wiggle all day long. Total time suck.

    And the Madonna shoes? OMG. You should definitely get some! ;)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....

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