Mar 11, 2011

Friday, March 11, 2011 - Celebrity gossip-free zone

 
Happy Friday all! I'm glad to be back newflash-ing this week. I'm not technically doing any flashing, so relax.  The big story is of course the terrible Tsunami in Japan. I'm sending all the victims my warmest internet hugs this morning. I can't imagine how terrifying it is over there. 

This week I've decided to protest celebrity gossip. With Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan insanity happening left and right, I'm a little bit spent. So, enjoy the zany treats I've found instead:

1. Sweden is getting rid of stamps. Yes, the future is here. The Swedish postal system is going paperless. When you want to send a letter or package, you send a text to some stamp wizard guy, it generates a unique code, and you write the code on your piece of mail! You're then billed later! No stamps at all! The new system will likely go into effect this summer. Denmark even has a similar plan! I'm all for this. I find myself mailing things often and at the post office way too much. That place is miserable. It kind of hurts my heart to know how behind the times we are in America. Ikea and now text stamps? What will Sweden think of next!?


2. They're making a Fast and Furious 5!! How in the world is this still going on? This is the FIFTH installment of the atrocious movies. It's just called "Fast Five." What the hell? I love Paul Walker, I really do, but come on. This is just out of control. I've also learned that Vin Diesel is now 43 years old. I think there are very few 43-year-olds who can pull off that sexy criminal thing. James Bond might actually be the only one. Or perhaps Danny Ocean. Otherwise, NO. If you have any interest, see the trailer here. I hope you don't. Dear Paul Walker, get it together, you're too hot for this.



3. You can have your very own Kate Middleton doll! The Doll is modeled after her famous engagement portraits. The description of the doll reads:
 ...For the first time in over 350 years, a non-royal like one of us is beginning that journey for real. Celebrate this moment in history with the finest dolls in the world. Experience the thrill of her engagement by owning one of the most elegant and regal treasures in the world."

I couldn't have put it better myself. I want my Royal Wedding-crazed office buddy to buy one so I can give it a hug. Buy your very own for the low, low price of $195 here.

4. Quote of the week:
“If they care at all about their children or grandchildren, and sometimes I doubt that – I think, you know, grandchildren now don’t write a thank-you for the Christmas presents, they’re walking on their pants with the cap on backwards listening to the enema man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg, and they don’t like them!” -- Alan Simpson, co-chairman of President Obama's deficit commission
Wow. Yes, this man is turning 80 this year, but come on. Not only is the man claiming that people don't care about the financial future of their own grandchildren, he refers to "enema man" and "Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog." Those aren't real. I think he's talking about Eminem and Snoop Dogg. I have concerns about how out of touch this man is. I have even more concerns about his nonchalance with so many poop references. Weird. Nonetheless, there's nothing like a good old guy poop joke.

5. The troll dolls got a terrible makeover!! The classic 1980's troll dolls, the chubby little neon-haired treasures of our pasts, have gotten sex-ed up, big time:


I'm extremely disappointed. In fact, I'm furious.  The only thing they have in common is the hair. I have lots of questions...Where is the pudginess? Where are the bellybutton treasures? What is up with those whore eyes? Are Bratz really the new model? What is wrong with kids today?!! I"M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!!!!!!!!!!!

7. In other nostalgia news, Nickelodeon is bringing back Clarissa!! Yes you read that right. TeenNick will be re-airing various beloved sitcoms of the 90's. Beginning this fall, from midnight to 2 a.m., Nickelodeon is going to show the best shows they ever made (or at least according to me): Rugrats, Kenan & Kel, Pete & Pete, The Amanda Show, All That and Clarissa Explains It All!! I'm really stinking excited. Recently, I watched the theme song to Pete & Pete (just randomly) because I missed it. YES!!!! There is some goodness left in the world!! I will say, Clarissa was my leader back in the day. She's so wise. And so hip. (Don't believe me? Watch this.)I can't wait. I'll keep you apprised of this situation as developments are made.


Well, that's all folks. I'm ACHING to get out of work today. I have a fun weekend on the horizon. It's the big St. Patty's day celebration in Dallas - a debauchery-fest for the record books. Watch out world, 2005 Casey may be making a one-day appearance this weekend for the massive parade and day party.  Yikes.

2 comments:

  1. "I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!!!"

    Bahahaha, I think I laughed so hard I peed my pants! :)

    Those trolls are so diappointing!! Gah.

    And can you spot me a $195 for my Kate Middleton barbie look-alike doll? ;)


    Cheers to a fabulous weekend, girlfriend! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am SO creeped out by the new troll dolls! I may even have nightmares.

    And that's awesome about Nickelodeon! I loved Clarissa too.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....

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