Jul 30, 2010
 Happy freaking Friday all! I've had a real sucky suckster of a week, so I'm extra ready for the weekend fun. I have an old buddy in town for the weekend and a reunion for the ages is planned for tonight. Can't. stinking. wait! Preface: it was a slow news week....

1. Chelsea Clinton is getting married this weekend. She's marrying a not-famous investment banker.  It's been all over the news all flipping week. While I love wedding buzz and girly things like what flowers/dress/food/fashions will be involved, I'm kind of over this. Lots of details have been leaked. The bride will likely be in Vera Wang, as she was spotted paying a supersecret visit to Wang's NYC showroom this week. The wedding will be happening in upstate New York, and its rumored that tons of famouses will be in attendance. All the VIPs even have caused them to close down airspace over the venue. Jeeze. I guess this wedding is the closest thing we Americans have to a royal wedding, so it's exciting. But not that exciting. Is it wrong that I'm disappointed US Weekly won't be getting exclusive coverage of this one?

2. Quote of the Week:
"Freaks are what make everything mildly more interesting in life but with trannies, they make me want to be a better woman. I see these men who have way better bodies than I do, more beautiful faces, better complexions, beautiful makeup, and they're more fun than any person I've met in my life. They make me feel like I'm not a very good woman." —Ke$ha
I too love trannies. (thinking of a certain special memory of a tranny karaoke bar in NYC with some BFFs...)I felt ugly there. It was full of men in skirts. Bizarre.

3.PETA is still crazy. Lately it feels like they've really focused on more subdued, practical campaigns (except for the naked Khloe Kardashian thing), but earlier this week thy kicked it old school. They wrapped some of their members in meat package-ish cellophane and touted their old "Meat is Murder" slogan. Supposedly, the point was to make people realize that "all meat comes from somewhere."

 Clearly, I don't support the mistreatment of animals, but this seems a little bit ridic. I can't help but worry for the poor people sweating up a storm in those packages. I assume their inner monologue went a little something like this...."what the hell am I doing? I gave up eating meat, even hot dogs!....wasn't that enough? it's hot as balls in here. People can see my junk. There is red paint in my eye and I can't move my arms. FML. Major FML."...or at least that's what mine would be. Guess that's why I'm not a PETA person.

4. Ellen Degeneres announced she's leaving American idol. Now, its rumored that J.Lo may be taking her spot as a judge. I really don't care about this, I've hated American Idol since its inception. Ellen is definitely better than the show, and J.Lo is not. All is right in the world.  I feel obligated to report, as it seems to be all anyone is talking about today. I'm a slave to my journalism craft after all...

5. A British department store is coming out with R-Patz-inspired underwear named R-PANTS. Best. Name. Ever. These teeny men's undies will be targeted to "young fashion-savvy customers" to wear under skinny jeans. Hells yes. They haven't been launched yet, but when R-PANTS come out I expect there to be a total frenzy, or at least I'll be in a frenzy. Unfortunately they couldn't get R-Patz himself to model. Boo. If only...

HAPPY HAPPY WEEKEND TO ALL!
Jul 29, 2010

Peanut Butter down in my belly.

I've discovered a new tasty thing. Come to think of it, it's not a new thing, or even close to a new idea, it's just only occurring to me now. Jiff To Go. And they make it in reduced fat. That's what really caught my eye. They never make little tasty "to-go"  items less fatty. (I've been dreaming of Capri Sun made with Splenda for years). It looks like this:

These are little lunchbox-sized peanut butter tubs. Not only are the convenient as all get-out, its perfect little portion so I don't send myself in to nutty food coma. They're a lazy indulgence for me. I was sick of loading up mini tupperwares with my natch peen butt....

Yesterday, after I'd dipped all my celery int he little tub of gold (wouldn't it be great if peen butt tubs were are the end of rainbows?), I licked that dude totally clean. Like TOTALLY clean. And, what's worse, is that I instinctively just did it. Someone walked in my office and it shamed me to be pigging out on just straight peen butt. That's the kind of supersingle behavior that should be reserved for my tiny apartment kitchen where only the Prince can see my food indescretions.

It reminded me of a tale....our old dog, Maggie (bless her sweet heart in heaven), was an outside dog. She only got to come inside for special occasions and inclement weather. Everytime we finished a jar of peanut butter, my mom would toss the empty-ish jar out in the backyard for her to lick clean it was her favorite special treat. And boy would she get her whole face in there and get it.

Just in case you forgot, she was a dog. I did the "lick the jar clean" routine in a professional setting. I'm embarrassed. So, today, when all my celery was munched, I finished the peen butt with a spoon.....throwing it away is just not an option...Right?

(please validate me)
Jul 28, 2010

Brace yourselves, I'm in my happy place.

One of my fave blog friends did a post today about 10 things that make her sublimely happy. She got the idea from one of her fave blogs. This is what we bloggers do, share ideas and cheer. It's really quite nice. So, In the spirit of getting my smiley face on this busy Wednesday, here are 10 things (in no particular order) that lately have really been giving me the supersmileys.....

1. Blog friends. Cheese-tastic, but I have to. Lately I've really been getting into this and wearing my Poodleist hat a lot more. And I love it.

2. Bootcamp. I've been doing these mega-hard workouts for a month and I've just signed up for another one! It makes me feel productive and strong.

3. Mad Men. But you already knew that one. I'm close, so close, to being caught up.

4. I have a hair appointment Saturday. I love getting my hair did. Like, really love it. I like the pampering, I like the non-split ends when its over with. And I love my stylist. I don't have lots of $$ to spend on my beauty regimen, so this feels like a treat every time

5. The prince is back! My sweet furry puffball of love was visiting his grandparents for a couple of weeks and now my snuggle buddy is back in my world. YES.

6. Next weekend I'm going to AUSTIN! It's not a particularly far or rare trip for me, but I love it just the same every time.

7. Manfriend. That's an oldie but a goodie. He's really been on board with the fitness thing lately and I like reaching our goals together. Oh, and he cuddles me.

8. My new office is the bomb.com. That's just that.

9. Ghirardelli chocolates. In my recent foray to San Fran, I bought a big variety pack of the tasty nuggets. There is a bowl on my desk. Occasionally I indulge in a treat, but mostly all my co-workers have an excuse to drop by. I love being the hot spot!

10. Lots of buddies are engaged. Lately there has been ton of wedding news in my inner circle. I'm genuinely so excited for all my bride buddies. Not to mention all the fun parties I get to go to!

Yay! I'm in a better/happier mood already! It's amazing what spending a few minutes thinking about your happy place will do for your mood. Write the same post and leave me a link in your comments. I promise you'll feel great!

Even more Lady Gaga Fabulosity

Bizarrely, just when I think I've maxed out on Lady Gaga-related amazement, these two things trot across my radar today... 1. This freaking AWESOME photographer, named Jesse Freidin, has a little diddy called the "Doggie Gaga Project." In this amazing photo series, precious pooches are dressed up in some of the Gaga's most notorious fashions.These are my faves:
I wish the prince could have been in this little exhibition. I've been thinking about getting some portraits of him taken and what better giggles than puppies + Gaga?!?! Scroll through all the super-ness HERE. 2. So all week there has been serious news about several classified documents related to the war in Afghanistan being leaked online. A U.S. soldier leaked the documents on a site called WikiLeaks earlier this week. The whole thing went down like this: he got onto a secured computer, which permitted the use of compact discs. He then downloaded all the secret data onto CDs. Want to know how he got away with it? All his buddies thought he was listening to LADY GAGA. He disguised the CDs in a Lady Gaga album case! Throughout the whole operation, he wore headphones and pretended to by lip syncing! HAHAHAHAHA. While this is a serious offense, its so amazing that nobody even questioned him because he appeared to be so in the zone with his Gaga jam session. I definitely know that feeling. Here's the exact quote from the NY times:
"He was able to avoid detection not because he kept a poker face, they said, but apparently because he hummed and lip-synched to Lady Gaga songs to make it appear that he was using the classified computer’s CD player to listen to music."
I'm very sorry that leaked war secrets could be making our troops more vulnerable, but I find infinite humor in this soldier using the sweet, sweet melodies of the Gaga to commit this offence - and that nobody even challenged it. It is the Gaga afterall.
Jul 27, 2010

Not responsible for acts of God.

Even more in the weekend recap category.... After the Gaga goodness was over and recovered from, Saturday morning I headed out to Lake Texoma with some buddies to boat, ski, debaucherize and go camping. I don't really have much good to say about Oklahoma. It's the longhorn in me. I despise all things from and related to the state. Lake Texoma solidified my previously unconfirmed notions of the white trashiness of the place. (Yes, this is a perhaps unfair generalization.) Nonetheless, the lake is great fun. Saturday morning we all slathered up in SPF, iced down our beers and snacks and hit the lake. After the boat was all the way in the water and we were all inside of it, we determined that the battery was dead. Not even a flicker of life in that dude. Balls. So, thanks to iPhone, we found Gary's Boat repair in Pottsboro, TX. Here's Gary: Yes, he's scary. Yes, he admitted to opening gunfire on all the "wild meth heads that come on my property and try to jack with my boats." Yes, his camo t-shirt said "MASH out Cancer." Yes, he chainsmoked for the whole hour we were there. Yes, he posts this sign at his business: I find "Acts of God" a genius scapegoat for pretty much any incident that could occur. That Gary, what a smarty pants. Hehe, Gary proved to be quite helpful, despite the fact that our pack of unsaavy and inexperienced WASPs were shaking in our little wayfarers the whole hour we were there. He got a tip. Just because he'd already referred to his guns and willingness to use them. There was also this... The boat, in a clever and punny play on words, was named "Nauti Habit." Giggles. Even better was the fact that the owner was an overweight and highly sunburt man in his 60's, enjoying the company of a much younger woman who had several synthetic body parts. I'm referring to boobs and pretty much her whole face. I love puns, especially when they're splattered all over the mid-life guilty pleasure of a neighboring vacationer. There was also copious amounts of "icing." This is where you hide a Smirnoff ice and the person who finds it has to get on one knee and slam the whole thing. This is a funny prank, but pretty much miserable if you're the target. The thing that cracks me up about "icing" is that this little trend has probably really boosted the sales of this disgusting beverage. But, humorously, the disgustingness of the item is why the prank is funny, and thus responsible for any added revenue. Here's a glimpse at the "ice" giggles: All in all the weekend was a blast. The camping was hot, and some of our groceries were forgotten at home, but we were troopers. Success. Now, I'm reading horrifying statistics about sun damage and skin cancer as punishment to myself for getting as fried as I did.
Jul 26, 2010

I had some fun, the beat was sick.

Thursday night I enjoyed a live performance by none other than the Gaga herself! It was so, so flipping fun, and we had a great group of buddies together, even the little nugget had a fun time. One of the ladies even went so far as to channel the Gaga and wig it up:
Freaking. Fabulous. Clearly I took a spin in the wig too, those photos are far to appalling to show you.
In addition to the sweet, sweet jams, the people watching at this event was just ridiculous. Needless to say the gays were out...like really out, that night. Take this gentleman for example, he's dressed as a bride, and wearing a wedding cake for a hat, which has 2 men on it.... Or this dude, who needs no explanation... Then of course there were tons of ladies dressed to the nines. I'm not entirely sure what reference she's making to the Gaga, but it's nonetheless pure fabulosity: I was really boring. I sort of ran out of time on the costume preparation, but it was still a super super fun time. The show was awesome too. Her singing Telephone live in concert pretty much sent me into a tailspin. Dissimilar to other pop stars, she played and sung the ENTIRE time. Piano, guitar, keytar, singing, dancing....her talent just blew me away. Even with all the spectacle, there was no hiding her freakishly large amount of natural talent. She changed costumes several times, which I LOVE in a pop show. One outfit even included sparks/fire shooting from her boobs and crotch area. AH-MAZING. If you have the chance to witness the Gaga for yourself, do it.
Jul 23, 2010
Happy Friday all! Lady Gaga last night was a religious experience. More on that later.... 1. Tuesday, Linsday Lohan finally went to jail. Thank heavens. At the risk of getting all soapboxy on you, she deserves to feel the long arm of the law. This little poptart has needed someone to slap her around a little for years now. Yes, that is an explosion of glitter behind her as she enters the jailhouse.Hopefully jail will do the trick. Although, they're only guessing she'll serve 13 of her 90 day sentence. Boo, that. She's isolated away from the normal prison population "for her own safety." That's probably a good idea. My dream situation would be for her to become someone's girlfriend on the inside and that girlfriend blabs all her bizarre secrets to PerezHilton for me to enjoy. But, I digress.... In the meantime, she's on the cover of German GQ. Not looking too bad, I might add. I wish I could party it up, play in jail and still be getting paid to be sexy in other parts of the world: 2. Look at this amazing-ness: A giant Southern Right whale leaped out of the ocean and crashed into a yacht! The 40-ton mega-beast was off the coast of South Africa and just decided to pop out and say hello. Luckily, neither the whale or the people were hurt. Isn't it amazing that we share this planet with creatures like this dude? He makes the man look like a little Ken doll. Sailboat Ken, to be more specific. WHOA. 3. Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson are engaged! What a relief. Supposedly, all of a sudden, these two braniacs just decided they're ready to be a "family" again. I'm glad they're in love, but the US Weekly article claims that they haven't told Sarah when the the issue went to press. Give me a damn break, I have a hard time buying their genuine love if US Weekly (who probs paid them many dollars) were the first people they told. I'm clearly not better than that though, because I purchased the mag at the airport. Dammit, always giving my hard earned dollars to dummies like these two. Or maybe they're the smart ones...(well, we all know they aren't too smart) There even may be a reality show in the works! Please, Bravo, I hope you're reading this. I need that to happen. I'm imagining a hillbilly version of Britney and K-Fed's Chaotic. 4. There is a Utah lady with 2 uteruses! And both of them are pregnant! Holy Guacamole! This lady, Angie Cromar, was born with a rare condition (called didelphys). She also has two cervixes and two vaginas! This story blows my mind. The questions abounding in my mind are just infinite. I'm curious about the whole gamut of female reproductive system woes. (two tampons?) She's only 20 weeks along, but the pregnancy is very dangerous. I hope her and her little babies the best. I'm still just amazed at the whole situation, does her OBGYN feel like he's wearing the drunk goggles? 5. Quotes of the week:
"It's been fun to play dumb." —Stephanie Pratt on the end of The Hills
Really? No, but, really?
"I’d rather keep the dead and revolting things like vampires and werewolves out of my life." Miley Cyrus
Can she really be throwing around the word "revolting"? ...the jealous idiot flaps her gums again. I can't wait for the next time...
Have a super weekend! Somehow manfriend has convinced me to go camping. I have some trepidations...
Jul 22, 2010

Welcome to the purple thunderdome.

So a couple of weeks ago I got my very own office. My own little cave, conveniently painted purple (more lavender-ish, really). I've moved all the cubicle decorations in now. Unfortunately, the much larger room may require some additional items. Boo, not in the budget. I think it came out ok for now though: I have 2 computer screens, I'm very important. This is what it looks like from the power seat: I like it in this room. It's unseasonably hot, but I'm learning to deal with that. The privacy, ability to jam out sans headphones and the sweet, sweet gaze of Edward make it totes worth the balminess. Yay!

I want to take a ride on your disco stick.

Hi. Tonight, I'm going to see Lady Gaga, live in concert. React now.... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm so freaking excited I'm about to tinkle in my little panties. She has so many super hits that the show is bound to be jam packed with sugary sweet pop music goodness and maximum stage bizarre-ness. I can't. flipping. wait. I've been trying to devise some sort of Gaga-inspired getup. No such luck. It turns out she dresses really weird. I even went to a hair shop to create one of her famous hair bows: No such luck. I didn't have the patience or products to make this look perfect, so I'm just going to go to the concert as myself. Boo. The other awesome thing is that several of my gal pals are going to come over before hand for a pre-party celebration! We can walk over to the show from my apartment! Even the little nugget will there! Hip Hip Hooray! Be jealous. I would be jealous of me right now. PS: In an effort to "get pumped up" I've been listening to her Gaga-ness all day. This doesn't promote productivity in the workplace. Just so you know.
Jul 21, 2010

Mad Men = pure genius

So I'm probably the last one on the bandwagon here, but I've been powering through the Man Men DVDs and I'm totally OB-SESSED with the show. I knew there was an upcoming season, so I decided to use the summertime to catch up on the older seasons to be a part of the craze (it makes me crazy when I'm not crazed for a TV craze - Glee, you may be next). I love it for a multitude of reasons...and here are some of them... 1. It is a "period piece" (a cinematography term that brings manfriend major giggles). I love when movies/tv are set in another time. The costumes are amazing. The clothes - gorgeous: 2. The 1960's culture. The interesting thing about Mad Men is that they smoke, drink all day, are sexist and totally say all the things that grandparents sometimes blurt out forgetting they live in modern times. It's kind of jarring at times, but an interesting look at how people lived then. It's also chaulked full of historical tidbits that the nerd in me goes totally gay for. Here they all drinking and smoking it up in the office: 3. John Hamm. He plays the main character, Don Draper. While he's super dreamy, he's kind of a scum bag. I constantly can't decide if I love him or hate him. You want to root for him, then he goes an does another scummy thing. But then he's so dreamy. 4. January Jones. She plays Don's wife, Betty Draper. She is a restless housewife to the max. She portrays the character with so much depth its just stupid. And, I have a major girlcrush on her. 5. But more than I love Don or Betty, I love their power couple-ness: 6. Ensemble cast. There are so many characters, you can't really get bored. Every single one of them has their own storylines and is interesting in their own right. That's probably more about the genius writing. I love it. There's a cool thing here. It's called "Mad Men Yourself." You can make yourself into a 1960's-era character. Here's me: All in all, its just awesome. The 4th season is about to commence, and I'm halfway through the 2nd. I'm going to have to get movin'. If you haven't checked it out, DO IT.
Jul 20, 2010

Me loves San Fran.

My jaunt around the Bay area this weekend was just STUPID fun. I dreamt of all the fun that could occur, then in real life my dreams were blown out of the water. Friday, we began with a little visit to San Fran. We checked out the FULL HOUSE house! Remember from the theme song? ("Ya miss your old familiar friends...WAITING JUST AROUND THE BEEEEEENNNND!") We went to the park where these "Painted Ladies" are and had a little picnic and photo op: Then, of course, we checked out the golden gate bridge. Notice the outfit changes between the Painted Ladies and the bridge hike. It was cold on the bridge, like real winter-time cold. It was foggy and San Francisco-y....but super fun.... Also, Friday night, we went to Chinatown for a delicious and authentic Asian meal. We got our own private booth behind a very glamorous and mysterious red velvet curtain. Clearly, in our private booth we just acted like children: Then, for Saturday, we headed to Santa Cruz to enjoy the beach, boardwalk and some tasty seafood. It was nice to lay in the sun and snack on some fried things. I partook in fish n' chips until I was sick from the deliciousness. We ate by the water and soaked in the scenery... Sunday morning, we awoke early-ish to go on a mountain hike at beautiful Mission Peak. The hike wasn't too long, but it was VERY steep. Manfriend and I were definitely sweating out our wine by the end of it. I seriously felt like I was going to pass out and fall down. But we were all smiles at the top: All in all, the trip was highly victorious. Traveling with manfriend is probably my favorite thing we do together. Also, I got to do some much-needed catching up with one of my old BFFs. She even asked me to be in her wedding next summer! Yay! I can't wait for that! In the meantime, I'm recovering from 4 days of leisure. There's really nothing like 38574908567497 work emails to answer to shock you back into reality!

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