May 28, 2010

Friday newsflash!

Hip Hip Hooray for Friday! I have probably the best weekend of my life ahead of me. River Floating, Engagment party, debaucherizing...it's going to be fab. I hope yours is super too, kick it of now with these... 1. Gary Coleman died. Sad. The Diff'rent Strokes actor died today of a brain hemorrhage. He fell down and bumped his little noggin Wednesday. Poor guy, always riddled in scandal and facing bizarre illnesses, it doesn't seem fair that he just fell down and that was it. This is is definitely a major cultural loss. Just for old times sake:
2. Miley Cyrus isn't going to college right now. Shocker. I think it is high-larious that she thinks we're all waiting on bated breath for her to announce whether or not she will continue on this trashy streak. Just in case, she went ahead and made this big announcement. The streak continues I guess. Remember sweet Hannah Montana? Remember how she was a role model for millions of young girls around the world? Yah....I forgot too. 3. Some Japanese company has invented ground-breaking fat-burning underwear, called "Cross Walker." SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. Supposedly these undies "will stimulate the muscles of the thighs, and spread it with a natural stride". I don't really know what they mean by "spread it." I have some questions, but clearly my mind went straight to the gutter. These things bear a striking resemblance to Spanxx (aka "heaven"). Leave it to the Japanese to make a good idea WAY freaking better. I don't know if I'll be acquiring any, they are like $60. I guess I did spring for Spanxx magic, though. 4. Willie Nelson chopped of his braids! Pout. I loved his braids. Now he has weird "not rockstar-ish" old guy hair. In other Willie Nelson news, they recently renamed portions of 2nd Street in downtown Austin, TX in his honor. The official name will remain 2nd Street, but "Willie Nelson Boulevard" will be on the signs. About the only thing easy about navigating downtown Austin is the numbered streets. I wonder what high person had this idea....
5. Quote of the week:
"[T]o be able to sit with my dad and [create] Price of Beauty, it's similar to missionary work. It was what I was called to do and called to be." Jessica Simpson to US Weekly
Ok, first off, this reality show of hers "The Price of Beauty" explores the definition of physical beauty in cultures around the world. I read that she is seeking a more comprehensive knowledge of how to be good looking - in more places on Earth. Now, how she connects that to "missionary work," I'm not exactly certain. Also, the daddy relationship continues to irk me. She's a real idiot. Who is in charge of letting her speak?
6. A new study has found that teeth brushing could have a direct and strong tie to heart disease. People who do not brush their teeth twice per day were 70% more likely to also be afflicted with heart diseases. WHOA! That is a bizarre, bizarre relationship to me. The best part of this story (obviously except the revelation on heart disease) is that the study was published in the British Medical Journal. Aren't the Brits known 'round the world for their sick-ass chompers? Maybe this news will turn that bad rap around a little bit. In the meantime, don't forget to brush! You could be saving your life!
Have a super weekend, there's pretty much no way you can top what I have in store...
May 26, 2010

Choco Thirst wins again

I am on a diet. And it totally sucks. I've never really embarked on an actual "can eat this, but not that" regimented plan, but desperate times call for desperate measures. A super nice friend designed the plan for me and I've been doing pretty well. And have brought my A-game to the workout routine lately. I'm not seeing crazy results, but I think I'm getting somewhere. I'm generally pleased. The weekends are tough. Real tough. But tougher than the weekends is my crazy, rabid-animal-like cravings for candy treats. I love sweets of all sorts. Cupcakes, cookies, just plain ole candy - all of it. At my office they keep Hershey's nuggets. The urge to munch on them is a daily battle. A friend sent me this:My brain doesn't work in venn diagram, but I appreciate the content knowledge, organization and patience this took to prepare. Its this kind of dedication that I need to channel to keep my mind off the choco thirst. Lately the chocolates have defeated me a little bit. I decided to let myself have a special dark nugget on rare occasions. I've always loved dark chocolate, but I'm less likely to scarf it, thus reducing the portion in a typical sitting. The semi-sweetness is more conducive to savoring rather than swallowing them like advils on a Sunday morning. It WAS the perfect solution. But now...I'm immune to the semi-sweetness and feel myself headed back to scarf town. RATS! The chocolates win again. I'm going to go back to cold turkey. Why isnt' there a patch for this? It seems stupid that they can prevent pregnancy with a sticker, why can't they reduce the choco thirst?
May 25, 2010

WHOA.

Sometimes I Google "Poodleism." I never, ever find anything, until today. Yesterday, some golf enthusiast on Twitter linked to this very blog! This is it! I'm so proud. So if you're a golf person, go follow him on Twitter, here. I presume the purpose of the Tweet was mostly for ridicule, as he seems to be a pretty serious golf enthusiast. Me no care, all press is good press for me! I'm honestly jumping for joy! I have lots of blog friends, who I'm so thankful for, and now this! I sort of, in a weird way, feel like I've made it. So thanks!

Sex and the City 2...soon!

Sex and the City 2 movie is upon us! Finally. After all the catfighting, rumors, paparazzi stalking and salary disputes...the time has finally come. The movie opens Thursday. I'm actually very super excited, but I'm wondering if that's my modern female subconscious telling me that I should get excited or I really truly am enticed by the trailer. It may be the former. Here's the trailer....
There are a few cheese-tastic things that make me skeptical. A. Roadtrip to the Arabian desert? How in the hell could you be so out of NYC originality that you choose this ridiculous location? B. Aiden is miscellaneously in an Arabian open-air market. C. Samantha is actually the bionic never-aging woman. Gross. I will most definitely still be going though, the clothes alone are totes worth it. The premiere of the movie in NYC was last night and the clothes definitely didn't disappoint there either.... Oh SJP. You are so fabulous, why can't I be you? This neon Valentino actually, truly, for reals, blew my mind. Loves the asymmetry, flowyness and duh the gray shoes.
Kristin Davis. Fabulous pick. Sort of Charlottey in the cut and tailoring, but more Kristin Davisy in the color. Ooh. Hot pink makes me happy. Super, super showing.
Cynthia Nixon. Snooze. Classic and timeless, but snooze. The brooch is a nice touch, though. Kim Cattrall. Her hair and lips do look pretty breathtaking, and she ain't no spring chicken. But, this dress really isn't doing much for me. The centered beading/detail reads a little prom-ish to me and that yellow sort of washes her out. She looks great, but its not my cup of tea. All in all, I think the premiere looks like it was a blast, but when 2 of the 4 stars opt for neon, don't the others pretty much have to follow suit? Why didn't they get together and discuss this, or at least shoot a "Hey, I'm dressing like a highlighter, if you don't also, I'll steal the whole show" text? I probably won't be getting to see the movie until next week sometime, probably better that way. I hates movie crowds (yeah I'm old like that). Recap as soon as I do!
May 24, 2010

PGA Golf - been there done that

This weekend I went to my first golf tournament. I've been interested in golf for sometime now, since I've been old enough to recognize "life sports" as a valid endeavor....so approxmately a year. Every year, Dallas hosts the HP Byron Nelson Championship, a bona fide PGA tour event. All I know of these events I've seen while snoozing on the couch on a Sunday afternoon or from Happy Gilmore. I was brimming at the prospect of a new experience. First of all, while it was a relatively classy affair, golf tournaments are really just an excuse for people who think they're classy to get drunk, which isn't that classy. I wasn't totally prepared for the boozefest that the thing was. It was fun, but excrutiatingly sunny and hot. I thought I had the bright idea not to wear a tank top, thus protecting my shoulders, chest and back, but in turn I fried the ever-living daylights out of my arms. That tanline will not be easy to get rid of. Awesome. We found a shady-ish spot and posted up near the 17th green most of the day.... As we sat there, golfers passed through the area for hours. I was watching, or trying to watch, but one of the things I remember most was a precious family of ducks passing across the green. Clearly baby animals are responsible for my most delightful moment of the day. The golf didn't stand a chance. There was one other standout, a 16-year old golfer named Jordan Spieth. 16 years old! We were there on the final day, so it was kind of a big deal that he was still in the event. Amazing! He's really good and already committed to play at UT. Duh. A giant crowd follwed him all day. I felt myself wondering "this kid is only 16, what the hell have I ever done?" But, then again, I got to drink beer and didn't have a curfew the night before. Haha, sucker. Nonetheless, he was really freaking good.Most of the patrons were wearing some form of chino and Easter-egg colored shirt and were of a decided uni-ethnic persuasion. It is golf, after all. Then, right at the end of the day, I saw this: Sandblasted.White socks with black shoes. While I immediately went into fashion police mode, it was refreshing. You really don't get to see a sandblasted man jort everyday. All in all, victory. Check PGA event off the old bucket list. (I just added it to the list yesterday, still counts as a checkmark, right?)
May 21, 2010

Friday newsflash!

Friday is here! 1. Pac-Man turns 30 this week! The classic arcade game was conceived in Japan 30 years ago! The circley shape of the Pac-Man was inspired by a partially eaten pizza. I wish that when I'm drunk on pizza I think of amazing ideas and invent fun games. I just get heartburn. One amazing thing is that it took 8 people 15 months to program the original game! It blows my mind how far we've come with technology. Today the Google homepage has a little game to play there for old time sake. Fun. Distraction. 2. An Arab-American won the Miss USA pageant. Rima Fakih, or Miss Michigan, was born in Lebanon. There is a possibility that she is the first Arab-American, Muslim and immigrant to win the pageant. It's only "a possibility" because pageant records aren't detailed enough to know for sure. I find it hilarious that the people in charge there have so much AquaNet in their brain to write a couple of things down about each of the winners. Nonetheless, congrats to Rima! I love when our melting pot of a nation has something good to show for itself. But, there are rumors that she is already romantically linked to Doug Reinhardt, Paris Hilton's skanky ex. She also may or may not have been stripper in the past. Nonetheless, this is a victory and I hope she doesn't totally trash out. 3. Jeans Diapers. Now, your little bundle of joy can have Apple Bottom Jeans too! Huggies has new diapers that are designed to look like jeans! I can't decide if I think this is cute or creepy. Its sort of like when people put clothes (and sunglasses, and sandals) on dogs. They will only be available during the summer, so babies can stay cool and only have to wear a stylish diaper. I'm a big fan of making a fashion statement out of an item that ultimately gets full of poop. Sounds pretty genius to me. I so wish they were bedazzled. 4. Some office in England implemented an idea called "Naked Friday" to boost productivity. The idea is for people to no longer have inhibitions and self-consciousness at work. Supposedly once fear is out of the way, people are more happy, productive and work stronger as a team. There is no way this is true. I firmly believe that if everyone around me was naked I'd be way too distracted by the cheeks and boobs to do anything else but stare. Also, there are lots of people in this office that may be hiding some weird things under their clothes. I think I'm against this. 5. Quote of the Week:
"I love all animals. I have a fascination with fish, birds, whales - sentient life - insects, reptiles. I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex. I think fish are very dignified with sex. So are birds. But pigs, not so much. So I don't eat pig meat or things like that. I eat fish and fowl." -- Crazyman Nicolas Cage
What the hell? I don't even know what to say about this one. I also don't know how fish or fowl have sex. Maybe I'm the idiot, but do you know? Aren't they egg layers? YouTube, here I come. 6. A fabulous new line of purses has come out....called Schitbags. Pause to absorb the fabulousness of that. Why would anyone, ever, ever buy something called a "schitbag?" I assume someone foreign is involved with this...They aren't even cute. Who is in charge of this and what are they thinking? Happy Weekend! I have no plans and it feels FABULOUS.
May 20, 2010

Justin Beiber has a lot to learn.

Need a mood lift? Watch this:
Maybe I'm just a nasty person, but I love when people that are on top of the world have normal person blunders. I just love it. Maybe he really should spend some time in Junior High, where we all learn how not to be an idiot. Or try to learn. This week my little sweet Bieber also got a tattoo. I don't know any of the details, but it seems to be a feminine little birdie on his stomach/hip. I wonder if anyone has ever told him that those stay on forever and that is NOT manly. Some woman will someday. Oh sweet Bieber, you're so innocent.
May 19, 2010

Fantasy Boyfriend Club

Fantasy boyfriend mancandy hottness to the max. That's what I'm thinking about today...

I've made a couple of references to my fantasy boyfriends club. This club used to go by a different, decidedly more X-rated name. A few of my BFFs from college know it.... There are an elite few swoon-tastic chunks of masculine tastiness that get to be in:

These never go out of style:
George Clooney. Now. Forever. ALWAYS. Its like the only thing he could do to melt my heart more is cuddle a puppy. Damn you and your hypnotics.



Prince William. Mostly because everyone wants to be a real-life princess. Especially me. (Sidenote: this was the founding member of HCPIA club...Remember Lori?)


Ryan Gosling. Big ole slice of American dreaminess right there.



These are fabulous just 'cause:

James Franco.
Luscious. People think he may be gay. Me no care. Me loves him.


Ryan Reynolds. I remember when I first fell in love with him....this scene from the Skeleton Key. Now he has that dumb T&A wagon Scarlet Johanssen for a wife.


Jake Gyllenhaal. Glad he's off that Reese Witherspoon uglyface (jk), more Jake for me.


These three are ones whose character I love. Not smart enough to separate that from real life.

Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick
. Chuck Bass: exquisite because he wears suits, Ed Westwick: strange accent and wears too much jewelry.


Tim Riggins/Taylor Kitsch. Riggins: sex machine, Taylor Kitsch: Canadian....this one feels like my own little secret.


Edward. Duh.


If you made it this far....thanks. Sometimes I need to get my mind off the real S going on in mylife by frolicking in hunk dreamland.
May 18, 2010

"That was way harsh Tai."

So a blog friend turned me onto a sweet little blog called Welcome to the Nut House! Over there she does a thing called Table Topics Tuesday, wherein she poses some question, philosophical or just for fun, for bloggers to respond to on their blogs. Cool little idea. Everyone gets more post ideas and more traffic. I'm for this, so this Tuesday I'm taking part.
Photobucket
The question of the day is....Is it harder for you to speak kindly or honestly? Hmmmm..... Personally, and I wish it weren't true, I think I'm better at speaking honestly. I've always struggled with being negative. Lately, in fact, it's really creeped up and messed up my life. But I have a hard time glossing over things and just being nice if I don't actually believe it. Like when something is bothering me, I'll speak up right away, rather than calmly trying to find the good in the situation and appreciating that. I really could do much better at harnessing my happy parts and paying more compliments and appreciation, rather than take the more "tell it like it is" approach. I'm reminded of one of the best movie lines of all time....
(Thats a giggle-tastic clip, and I'd never be that mean, but there wasn't anything false about Tai's insensitive comment) I guess I'm reading this question more like..."can you find the good in things?" And I really need to work on that. So, in an effort to stay in my happy place....here are a couple of really great things about today: (prior to typing this I've been dealing with some issues today that were seriously sending me to crabtown)
  • I'm wearing a new top. And I'm in love with it. Silky, hot pink, ruffles...recipe for cute.
  • I got a serious sweet tooth, and instead of breaking my diet, I had super low fat fro-yo to quench the thirst for tastiness.
  • I have been emailing with some out of town friends today that remind me how lucky I have it in the friend department.
  • The prince slept through the night last night, so I'm energized today (routine changes have caused him to fall of the wagon lately)
  • I only had 1/2 a cup of coffee this morning. I'm trying to get off of it altogether.
  • I was actually on-time-ish today.
  • I may have some fun "out for drinks with girls" type of plans for tonight.
  • The weather is nice, maybe I can squeeze in a jog.
Yipee! I feel better already! I'm going to keep my kindness trucking hopefully. I'm feeling optimistic and sunshiny. Now, there is a lot of afternoon left for me to power through, but I have high hopes. Another thing I found just made me happy...there's a really sunshiny lady over at Life of Meg. Read her blog, its good. Thanks Welcome to the Nuthouse! for making me have this conversation with myself today! I'd love to know your response in the comments...
May 17, 2010

Unleashed = Unbelieveable

This weekend I brought the Prince to an awesome freaking place called Unleashed. It's a GIANT indoor dog park. Like Giant, the size of a warehouse. The floor is covered in wall-to-wall Astro turf. Below the turf is a drainage system. So the dogs pee and it just sort of goes away. Then, every night a sprinkler system hoses the whole place down. It was amazing. I wish I'd known about it during the cold weather. They divide the dogs by size. We started in the "small" area, but it didn't take long for the Prince to dominate every Yorkie and Chihuahua in the place. Had to upgrade. There were lots of Giant dogs, and the Prince didn't stand down. He kept getting double-teamed by the big guys... They had obstacles for agility training and the Prince felt right at home. I get the feeling that most of the dogs there aren't accustomed to jumping up on things. I have one unruly poodle who will not hesitate to just get-er done and jump up on a table. He was sitting there waiting for a treat...it never came because I forgot them. Sad. Of course, I took immense glee in gawking at all the other patrons. This dog is a Newfoundland. You can't really get a good sense of how giant the thing is from this picture. The pup was no less than 20o lbs and the biggest animal I've ever seen outside of a barnyard. The family also has a Mastiff! The owner, who so graciously posed for me (he doesn't seem to get that the picture was of the dogs, not him), told me this thing eats 6-8 cups of food everyday!!! Whoa. Chuy felt the need to give him the death stare... I bet he was thinking "stop capturing my mommy's heart, you big fattie bo battie." On the other end of the spectrum, there was a woman with three teacup Chihauhuas. TEACUP! They were like 3 lbs each. She has dressed all of them in matching denim dresses, sunglasses and shoes. SHOES! They're little outfits matched the denim jumpsuit she was wearing. I can't even start on how weird she was in of herself (refer to the disco platforms and mustard yellow toenail polish). It was really bizarre. Like she got too old for Barbies and just decided to dress up dogs. I wonder if they have a DreamHouse to play in? If they do, I'm jealous. All in all it was a victorious endeavor. The Prince and I had so much fun. One of my besties was even so nice to join us to keep me company. I don't know what I'd do without friends and poodles to keep me busy!
May 13, 2010

Friday newsflash!

Welcome to Friday, I've had a long week, so sorry for the lack of Poodleisms. Never fear, I will not be sans newsflash today.... 1. They're canceling Law & Order. Noooooo! After 20 seasons, no new episodes will be made. It tied Gunsmoke for the longest running television show of all time. When I read this story I was immediately sad, but come to think of it, I've probably never watched a new episode on NBC. I think every single episode I've watched has been on TNT or USA. I hope it will live on forever on cable. It probably will. Clearly, this is in my head: 2. Elena Kagan. Where to start? President Obama has chosen her as his nominee to replace Justice Stevens later this summer. I'm sitting here trying to research her for this post and can find a bizarre lack of information about her political/philosophical tendencies. We know she's a democrat, but a more moderate one, who would likely be far more centrist than the man she's replacing. And, she's never been a judge, just a law teacher. That's about it. Then of course there's the whole "is she gay?" thing. I don't care either way, but lots of people think they deserve to know, as same-sex marriage is likely to come up during her career on the bench. On the radio I heard that two of her favorite hobbies are softball and poker. Hahahahha. I'm all for another woman, the 4th in history, to be on the bench, but does she really have to keep that haircut? She is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, skateboarding on a question mark. Stay tuned. 3. Quote of the week:
"I have a knife collection. My favorite's my switchblade. ... It relaxes me to flick it." Taylor Momsen
She's such an idiot. She's quickly slipping into the Kristen Stewart "Look at me, I'm serious and edgy...I PROMISE" club. Knives? Really? I've read that she's going to be off Gossip Girl next season so she can focus on her "music." I hate when people bite, nay stab, the hand that feeds them. Good Riddance. 4. More in the Twilight Realm: In 2009 lots of people named their babies "Cullen." It rose in popularity 297 freaking spots from 2008! I can only assume that Twilight is to blame. Another blog friend brought my attention to the fact that in 2009 Jacob and Isabella topped the boy and girl popularity lists for 2009! Edward came in at spot #137, rising only 9 spots from 2008. Boo. As a side note..."Casey" is ranked all the way down at #528 and has seriously declined in popularity in recent years. Good, there are enough of us anyway. 5. The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is still raging on. And, it could be up to 5 times larger than they initially thought. I heard someone on CNN say that it's like "a new Exxon Valdez spill every day that this continues." Holy Guacamole! And, all week they talked about this mysterious video of the leaking valve that BP refused to release. Like there would be some new revolution when we saw a live-action shot of a pipe busting? Here's the mystery video...prepare to be underwhelmed: The thing doesn't really look that hard to close up, right? Anyway, they're thinking of new tactics like shoving tires in there to clog the pipe, putting a giant straw in there to pump it out to a tanker on the surface of the water and placing a metal 'top hat' on the thing to contain it. This is getting a little silly, but very sad. 6. Bethenny had her baby! Bethenny Frankel of the Real Housewives of NYC and husband Jason Hoppy welcomed a daughter, Bryn, to the world on Saturday! The sweet baby was born nearly a month be fore her due date, but mom and baby are happy and healthy. Bethenny is 40 years old, I'm glad the baby was born without complication. I doubt the show will be around this long... so in my imagination I'm flash forwarding to when baby Bryn is a sullen, awkward teenager forced to be on reality television with powerhouse socialite for a mother. That's a routine that never gets old to me. See: Ramona's daughter Avery and Jill's daughter Aly. Both of those poor things must have neck problems from all the eye rolling this season. Either way, Congrats Bethenny! I'm a nasty person, but I hope she struggles with baby weight, it's only fair. Happy weekend! I have no plans, but 'll be keeping as busy as I can this weekend. If you're a friend reading this, call me.
May 10, 2010

Happy Birthday Edward. I love you.

Just because I feel like it ... And because my well of insight, intelligence and charm has been a little dry lately.... TODAY IS R-PATZ day on Poodleism! It's Robert Pattinson's birthday today. He's 24. Same age as me! Born in London on this blessed day 24 years ago, R-Patz, as if you didn't know, is the sexmachine/heartthrob/superstar who plays my favorite fictional character, Edward Cullen of Twilgiht. I hope he's having a magnificent birthday! Even if he spends it with that idiot girlfriend of his, Kristen Stewart, I hope his 24th year is a great one! My favorite R-Patz/Edward pieces of trivia:
  • He has said that darts and pool are more his sport, and that he made up that he liked snowboarding and soccer for his Harry Potter audition.
I love bar games and men that play them. Manfriend could have first snagged me that way...
  • He beat 3,000 people to play Edward Cullen in Twilight.
Duh.
  • Robert revealed that when he was 14 he fronted a rap trio. However, the group didn't go well because it seemed funny for three private school kids, Robert admits. And because his mom kept cramping their style, popping her head in to ask, "You boys want a sandwich?
I'd love to see him bust a rhyme, but he can't be that good. Freestyle beats. Add that to the ever-expanding list of Edward "pros."
  • Invited an obsessive fan out for dinner when he was having a bad day.
Could be a little tacky, but dammit why wasn't that me?!?!?!
  • Robert loves drinking diet coke. His favorite cereal is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Amen to both. I'm trying to get off of colas and breakfast cereals at the moment, but I love these two things two! It's like we're soulmates! The third installment of the Twilight saga, Eclipse, will be released June 30, thats only 48 days away (see countdown at right)! Hip Hip Hooray! To celebrate, the cast will be on Oprah today! My DVR better not eff this one up, I've been looking forward to the Twilight media circus to roll back into town since I saw New Moon. Happy Birthday Edward! You're my favorite of all my fantasy boyfriends!

Fashion hell has broken loose.

Here are a couple of things that I've seen lately. I snapped the pics by sleuthing. One day I'm going to get caught sneaking photos of ridiculous people and I'll be in real trouble. But until then, I'll start with the most offensive. A. I encountered a man in a public place dressed like this. My dad not so gracefully tried to sneak him into our picture.... (note the man on the ground also) Then he just gave up and took a straight-up shot of this freakshow: Yes, we were at an arts festival when this display occurred, but he was in NO way acting like a character or had any sort of artistic role at the festival. And the clothes are so normal. He just felt like painting himself red that day. He was just casually strolling the booths with the rest of us. WTF? B. Nextly, there was this man.He is doing sidewalk chalk art. Fine. He's also wearing some kind of asian-inspired rice field shade hat. And there is leather decoration on two places of the same arm. And a wallet chain. He also has a tuft of hair emerging from his crack and eventually peeking through the gap between his shirt and pants. Hmm. I'm mostly just perplexed. C. Newsboy cap. I can't think of a time when a man should ever wear one of these. This person also is at a Bone Thugz-n-Harmony concert waving his arms all ghetto-like. Wonder if he knows how weird he looks? I stood behind this idiot, who is VERY tall I might add, the whole time. Why didn't his friends intervene... "Dude, lets talk about what you're working with here." D. And then there was Pat. He works with me and this shirt-stache combo plate is a joke. But mind you, it wouldn't be a joke if there wasn't someone out there that looks like this to make fun of. Pat is normally a cheery fellow, but he has never lifted my spirits more than when he showed up with this extremely bushy soup-strainer on his face. For no particular reason, he just felt like doing this today. Oh and he rarely wears anything but black. I hope I wake up on an equally zany side of the bed tomorow. UPDATE: At this very moment, in my office, there is a copy machine repairwoman with a mullet. I don't think she's joking. I wonder why she feels the need for business in the front? Judge me if you want. I'm a superficial brat. But come on, red body paint? Butthole hair peekaboo? Newsboy cap - that's just because I'm bitchy.

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