Dec 8, 2010

Dumbest. Commercial. Ever.

So, judge me if you will, but the other night I was awake into the wee hours watching copious amounts of Jerseylicious on the STYLE network. (If you've never seen this, I highly recommend it for it's ideal balance of New Jerseyness and it's diva/bitch fighting-based plot lines.) Anyway, for some reason I couldn't sleep. Those are the times when I call up all the trash on my DVR that I save for my most desperate of television-watching opportunities. Then, just as I was dozing off I saw this ridiculous thing:

**Warning. Below is a commercial for a "personal massager," but I assure you that it is safe for television, there isn't anything X-rated (or even R-rated) in it. Don't be deterred, the comedy greatly outweighs the sex toy talk.

 Be sure not to miss the awkward husband around the 0:50 mark. 

So, where Do I even begin? I think I'm going to have to list all my questions...
  • Now I've done the risque bridal shower thing - lots of times. At no time can I imagine giving a "personal massager" to a bride friend. That's a gift for single girls. Isn't the idea that when you're married you have your own personal pleasure thing in the form of a live man at your disposal at all times?
  • How in the world did 3 of them have this sicko/awkward idea. Usually the mother of the bride or at least one conservative sister/cousin is in attendance...
  • The three girls that gave the massager as a gift. Why didn't they tame their RIDICULOUS masturbation hair before the shower? Did they use the thing in the car on the way over? AWKWARD.
  • The testimonials. How much did they get paid? I bet it was something ridiculous like $30 and a coupon for a free appetizer at Chili's. 
  • Then there's the whole husband part. I don't care how adventurous you are in the bedroom, a vibrator should NEVER drive a man to squeal in delight. Especially in front of a woman and cameras. Maybe that's why she needs the Tri-phoria...
Anyway, this thing brought me endless giggles. Of course, giggles didn't do anything for the insomnia....but it did make me feel a tad bit less pathetic to be watching DVR-ed STYLE network after midnight on a Monday night....I could have 3 Tri-phorias to figure out how to regift.


  1. Ohhhh...Jerseylicious...Love it...I also watch for tips on how NOT to do my makeup.

    And yeah, I can't believe I haven't seen that commercial yet. Jeez

  2. I can't even believe they play that commercial on TV...odd, yes. I agree 100% on all your points/questions especially numbers 1,2 & 5.

  3. The fine print says Not for Sale in TX. Damn - and to think I've got a couple showers coming up.


Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....



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