Oct 15, 2010

Friday, October 15, 2010

Today  I'm attempting a giant, super-sized, better-than-EVER Friday Newsflash. Last week I didn't post one for the first time since the inception of the newsflash last back in January. I was too busy and a feel guilty...So, celebrity trash news is the theme of the day.

As for my weekend, I'm ready for it. I will be in Dallas without any big plans for the first weekend in a long time and I'm so excited. I love weekends without plans. I'm going to relax some, clean my apartment, maybe see a movie and go to the mall. Sometimes there's nothing like taking care of some to-do list items.

1.Courtney Cox and David Arquette announced their separation. After 11 years of marriage they're trying things out as singles for a while. No word on legal divorce yet. This makes me sad. In Hollywood years, its like they were married for 50 years. They were one of the few couples I still believe in. They have a 6-year-old daughter, Coco, too. This breaks my heart, but they've handled it the classy way by making a joint statement to legit news outlets. No cover of US Weekly (what a shame) for them.  I guess the figurehead of cougars everywhere is officially on the prowl. I hope she targets Zac Ephron.

2. Chelsea Handler and 50 cent are allegedly dating?!??!?! They were photographed canoodling in New Orleans.

 What could they possibly have to talk about? If I ever got to have a conversation with 50 Cent, I think I'd have a hard time not talking about how many times he's been shot. If I were in a conversation with Chelsea Handler, I'd ask me to adopt her as her intern/baby. And I'd ask her what she does with all her booze calories. I can't find where they go. What would there babies be like? Foul-mouthed, that's for sure.

3. Sun Chips came out with a totally bio-degradable chip bag earlier this year. They are now discontinuing it because it is too loud. They are going to "quietly" (until USA Today finds out) stop using the bag, bring back their old one (which is not even recyclable) and work on developing a quieter "green" bag.  This seems silly to me. If you're going to take a stand for Earth, which I applaud, isn't the noisiness of the bag a small price to pay? I can't believe a company would go through all the trouble of developing this thing, then pat themselves on the back to the media when they launch it, and then just be kind of  "over it." Well, I'm "over" Sun Chips. Take that.

4.  James Franco will be a cover girl for a tranny magazine called Candy. Cover girl? Confused by that? Don't be. He'll be appearing in drag. This is the hilariousness that will appear on the cover:

I'm all for being an advocate for the community, but isn't he kind of fulfilling pretty much every drag queen and transgender stereotype in this pic? The makeup. The leather. The strange hair. Every tranny thing I can think of is here. What I'm wondering is whether the lower half of his body is still dressed like a man. He's probably wearing cargo shorts and sketchers on bottom. Hehehehehe. This is sort of the next thing in line with a whole string of strange James Franco things. I don't think I care. He's still hot.

5. Quotes of the Week(s):

"It is going to be definitely one of the first times people are literally going to be able to hear and feel what it is like to be, not only mentally and sexually abused, or physically abused, but even in a relationship that went bad." -- Danielle Staub, crazy person

This isn't all bad. Bats*** crazy person, Danielle Staub, of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, is making a new single highlighting female abuse victims. She even spent a day shooting the video at a shelter.  While I totally support this endeavor, and actually am proud of her for once, what the hell is this quote supposed to mean? Why in the world would she want to make people listening to her single feel like they were being abused? And I'm sure the actual victims wouldn't like her use of the world "literally" in this quote. Her song may be awful, I'm sure it doesn't compare to actual abuse. She's still dumb.

"I said to a friend the other day, 'Dude, I'm doing a show with dancers. I've got to be single.' He was like, 'Don't sleep with anyone in your own show. That's a mistake.' It's good advice. But I'm not sure I'll stick to it." —Daniel Radcliffe, star of Broadway's How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
No, Harry Potter. Stop it, Harry Potter. You're not supposed to say sleeze-ball things. Just stop it right now.
"...That’s the one thing I’m most confident about. I don’t have the best body in the world, but I know for a fact that I have a really good voice.”- Ke$ha to Seventeen 
Wait really? No, wait, really? I do envy her confidence, I'm just not sure if I totally agree. I love her bangin' pop jams. I will bust a move on you if there is Ke$ha on, but we all know she's no Celine Dion.

6. You can get married at McDonalds in Hong Kong. Apparently, in the far east, they get calls all the time about couples wanting to get married in a McDonald's restaurant. So, starting next year you can do it. They'll even make you a cake out of burgers or apple pies. You can also have Ronald McDonald as a guest. But, make no mistake, business will continue as usual and the restaurant will have other random patrons in it. This is just so, so strange to me. Maybe I'm just an anti-transfats elitist, but this grosses me out bigtime. I don't even feel like it is entirely sanitary to sit on the chairs at McDonalds...but in your wedding dress?!?!?! It's not my bag, but I hope this new offering makes wedding dreams come true.

7. Ashlee Simpson-Wentz (hyphen? Give me a break.) popped back up this week all of a sudden. Pete Wentz tweeted this picture of her new blond pixie cut (found HERE):

I'm happy about this. I've never been her biggest fan (or a fan at all for that matter), but I like how I haven't seen her in a while for a totally different reason. She seems to have been keeping herself busy being a mom. I love that, and would have never expected it. Also, when did little Bronx Mowgli get so big, and cute? There is hope out there for ever gene pool...

8. Justin Bieber is starting his own line of nail polish. Yes, you read that right. He is teaming up with the nail polish manufacturer Nicole and the line will be carried in Wal-Mart for the holidays. Wow. There are so many things about this scenario that are giggly: Man  Boy heartthrob starts nail polish line. They'll be carried only in a store where all the W.T. masses can get it. The colors are mostly purples:

I actually, kind of, really want a few of these. Damn you, Bieber! You're always seducing me.

9. Soon, this will  be polluting your television:

Sarah' Palin's Alaska on TLC. "I'd rather be out here than in some stuffy political office. Here, I'm free." I call BS. She's desperate to be in some stuffy political office. I think this whole thing is one more "look at me I'm W.T. just like you" scheme. Sarah Palin makes my skin crawl, but I'll probably have to watch this in the name of being fair and informed in my hate for her. I've said this before: HOW IN THE WORLD does TLC manage to find so much television gold?

I hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend, I'm going to relax...ALOT.


  1. Before I even read you comment on 50 Cent...I immediately thought that the first thing I would ask him is how it feels to be shot!

    Who cares if the Sun Chip bags are loud...they eventually go into the garbage anyways. Sigh

    And seriously, I do not want to hear Harry Potter talking about sex. He doesn't do that kind of stuff:)

    I wish Hong Kong would have pulled out the McD's wedding sooner...could have saved myself a couple g's.

  2. this post cracked me up, & i feel like i got a legit update on my pop culture news too. thanks!

    super sad about courtney & david, chelsea & fiddy (what??) & way to go ashley for being a mom.

    oh, & i love james franco... i think he's hilarious.

  3. Have you HEARD that Sun Chips bag?! It's insane! Like... sonic booms loud. I think the crazy loudness is awesome!!! You need to get a bag of that and just play with it.

    CH and 50 Cent just made my night.


Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....



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