Aug 13, 2010
Hello Hello! Happy Friday! It's Friday the 13th today! EEEEEEK! So far nothing scary has happened to me today (except for my utter inability to control blemishes, but that's a side story). Exciting things are happening in manfriend's world today, can't divulge but big things are shaking! Weekend, hurry up please, I want to celebrate!

1. This week, a New Zealand man won the National Scrabble Championships here in Dallas. He won with the word "zarf," which is a handle-less coffee cup holder. I have a few questions.... (1) How can a New Zealander win the "National" Championship? (2) How the hell did I not know this fierce competition was going on in my fair city? I love scrabble and that would have made for a fabulous experience and even better blog post. (3) "Zarf"? What the hell?
2. Terry Hatcher , in her infinite wisdom, wants us all to know she hasn't had any plastic surgery on her face. To do so, she posted these photos, where she is clearly demonstrating that she is physically able to furrow her brow and crinkle her nose on her Facebook:

 This is awkward for so many reasons. Why must she demonstrate this point wearing only a towel? And who is still harassing her about this?  Does she think she's fooling us? Does anyone still care?

3. Period cramps may be affecting womens' brains. No, really. New research shows that women with menstrual cramps have noticeable and significant differences in brain structure. Compared with women who don't get cramps, the crampers had unexplained gray spots on MRI  brain scans. Hmm....just what we women need: legitimate research proving that PMS makes you crazier.







4.Quote(s) of the week: 
"I can’t wait for her career to be over so she can serve me coffee at a 7-11. She’s such white trash." Joan Rivers on Britney Spears
While, there is a lot of truth to this statement, I feel like this is way harsh. What a nasty thing to say. But, in all fairness we've all had that thought ("Brit Brit is totes W.T.") before....
"I don't feel like I'm very pop-star lame, but I'm definitely not hipster-cool. I'm somewhere right in the middle of it all. Because, for me, I want to sell out, but just not in the 'I've sold out' kind of way. I want to sell out arenas and sell millions of records." —Katy Perry
Oh come on. Katy, you've sold out. I love you and I can't get enough of you, but you've sold out. There's nothing wrong with that. You're a millionaire. I'm insanely jealous of you, but lets just be clear that you're a popstar and selling out comes with the territory.

5.The Cathy comic strip will be retired this year, after a 34 year run. Cathy, the eternal calorie-counting, single (although she did get married in 2005), career girl has been a female icon. On top of being high-larious, she brought some of the first humor and mainstream commentary on the modern female experience. All that seriousness aside, she loves girly things, has crappy bosses, freqently has communication breakdowns with her man -- she's every woman.
This particular one resonates with me:

6.A 75-year-old man had a pea plant sprouted inside his lung! Apparently, he inhaled a pea, presumably it accidentally went down the wrong pipe. He already had emphysema and started to get much sicker. They did X-rays to uncover a "grainy mass in his lung".

 Fearing that his condition had developed into full-blown lung cancer, they operated and found a sprouting pea! OMG. The warm damp conditions inside his lung were perfect growing conditions! This gives me the giggles because as a kid you were always told that eating seats (usually watermelon) would sprout in your belly. This apparently isn't entirely false! WHOA! I hope he kept it and re-planted it somewhere. Another funny element:  in recovery, the hospital fed him peas. BAHAHAHAHAHA!

7. Justin Bieber is finally doing something age-appropriate for a teenage boy (besides having the vocal range of a woman). He's now a Proactiv endorser! For a jillion reasons his new comercial is probably the most awkward thing of all time....

Not only does he discuss his hormones, which he can't wait to kick in (weird, are those the moneymakers?) but he uses the word "zit" at least 30 times. He also says the line "totally right for kids like me." I guess this amount of awkwardness is the most teenager-like thing he's ever done. There is justice in this world. 
(Maybe there isn't, photos were also released from a super sexy Caribbean photoshoot he did with Kim Kardasian. See them HERE.)

X. Paris Hilton is being sued for $35 million over hair extensions. Apparently she has a contract with one extension company and got caught wearing a competitor's weave. Oh come on, give me a break. The life of an heiress. My biggest hair problems are that I have to buy cheap haircuts. FML.

Happy Friday! Today I'm staying in town for the first time in a while and I'm ecstatic about it! Have a super fantabulous sparkly amazing weekend everyone!

10 comments:

  1. Um, I can't believe I didn't hear the story about the bean sprout. Holy Moly!! Better stay away from my vegetables and just focus on the m+m's:)

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  2. I agree, that pea sprout thing is just crazy. I didn't even realize those things could spout. We always used to joke about watermellon seeds also. Hope you have a great weekend!

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  3. I am so glad that I found your blog! What a fun post :)

    I do wonder how I missed not one or two of these stories in the news..but MOST of them! The only one I had heard about was the Terri Hatcher one..Thanks for catching me up!

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  4. haha i love this newsflash! and i'm so happy i found your blog. :)

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  5. Maybe Joan Rivers needs to watch herself on tv first before passing judgement on others. :P Also the pea plant freaked me out. I will never swallow another seed of any kind again.
    Great post!

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  6. My goodness, that is a lot of CRAZY news! I can't fathom $35 million about hair!

    Happy I found your fun blog! ♥

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  7. Just found your blog from Life of Meg! Your commentary is so funny, and I agree with all of it!

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  8. Stopping by from Life of Meg,

    Ummmm...Terri Hatcher thing definitely awkward! Joan Rivers comment doesn't surprise me considering the source but cracks me up!

    I look forward to stopping back again later.

    Cameron

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  9. Hi! Just found your blog on Life of Meg. I love the Friday newsflash idea! (Not to mention the stories your picked are perfect!)
    ~Betty
    http://northwestbetty.blogspot.com

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Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....

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