Aug 20, 2010
 Helloooo Friday! Today I'm traveling back home from beautiful and scenic San Francisco, CA. I'm sad to leave, but I miss the Prince. I'm dreading the triple digit heat, but the life of a salesman on the road is a little lonely. Pout. But not that much of a pout, my swanky room felt like I was Jay Z or something. Enjoy!

1. MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH ALERT!!!! Moderate drinking, especially wine, can make you smarter! The skies have opened, the angels are singing and the Hallelujah chorus is blaring in my mind. Over 5,000 men and women were studied over 7 years. Those who classified themselves as "moderate" drinkers performed better on cognitive testing. My mind is blown apart. I've long believed that the Chardonnay puddles in my brain have been slowing me down, but maybe not! Validation. The quote that sticks out in my mind: "...authors also reported that not drinking was associated with significantly lower cognitive performance in women." Double validation. I'll probably need to buy some wine to celebrate this news. Triple Validation. 

2. Yesterday,  the last combat troops left Iraq. I guess that means the war is officially over.  It's been a long haul. Thank goodness all our hardworking fighters are out of there. They've been at it for over 7 years! Hopefully they get to go home to their families and hug their wives/children/puppies soon. But, not all of them are gone just yet. Now begins "Operation New Dawn," in which the remaining U.S. forces are expected to advise-and-assist Iraqi forces. Hopefully we can get out of that desert once and for all. Thanks troops! Super job!

3. Again this week, there must be 2 Quotes....
"I love all my children, but Suri is my fountain of youth." Tom Cruise 
There is no way you can love your child when you consider one of the others your "fountain of youth." Nothing really compares to that. Weird comment. I've long believed that Suri Cruise is a little alien pod of cuteness sent to our planet to make us all seem less fabulous. Apparently she's brainwashed her Earth dad. He probably isn't that tough to brainwash.

"The world needs Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber is like the white Tupac. Compared to a lot of people." —Mark Wahlberg 
 What the hell? Lets just break this down....
  • "The world needs Justin Bieber": For what? Hair tips?
  • "Justin Bieber is like the white Tupac": Oh, he must be talking about the Biebs' poetic lyrical genius.
  • "Compared to a lot of people": Who could he mean? Who are the people not in the "lot of people" that Bieber is more Tupac than?
4. There is a new study that says "cougars do not exist." A psychology researcher at the University of Wales thinks its total B.S., and largely a "media construct." He examined over 22,000 singles ads and determined that women aren't actually looking for younger men, they want older ones. He also didn't seem to find any trends proving the existence of the cougar "cubs" (young, hot mancandy). The study is flawed because cougaring happens in dark bars when the female, with a brain soaked in liquor, sees a young hot piece of tail and goes for it. Not in the daylight reality of a purchased newspaper ad.  And what about Demi Moore? Or Madonna? Or Linda Hogan? Cougs are real. All you have to do is believe.

5. This exists:

Yes, those are Golden Girls dolls. No, I'm not sure where to buy them. What I almost love more than the genius artwork is the supermini tea set. This is on a shelf somewhere in precise arrangement. Unfortunately, its not in my home. Check out the artist, Ginger Williams, for more amazing nesting doll art, including the whole cast of Steel Magnolias and Saved by the Bell.

6. The Backstreet Boys and the New Kids on the Block are close to signing a deal to tour together next Spring! Cue that Hallelujah chorus again. There pretty much isn't anything I'd rather spend my hard-earned dollars on. This represents a marriage of the best of the best of 90's teen pop magic. My whole self is a product of 90's teen pop magic. Backstreet's Back Alright!

Notice that every single person in this picture is making an awkward face of some sort. I don't understand.
7. Man Spanx are coming to a department store near you. They're calling them "men's shapewear." Men want to be skinny too. These new shapewear pieces "help with the love handles and beer belly and man boobs -- or 'moobs,' as we call them," says Spanx. Compressing undershirts already exist, and now, items for mens' bottoms are headed to U.S. stores. While I don't want to denounce a man's right to de-muffintop himself (god knows we all deserve that right in this free nation we live in), isn't this a recipe for mangina? Isn't that pretty much the un-sexiest thing in the entire history of unsexy things? I'm confused and confounded by this. I don't think I want to see it. If a man is seeking the perfect body by wearing a girdle, it is likely nobody will ever see it. Certainly not a woman. And that's that.

8. This makes me want to vomit. It's a Burger King "Pizza Burger." It's BK patties, marinara sauce and pesto flavored mayo. It costs $12.99 (and only is for the special Times Square BK location).

I don't think I really need to say anything else. I think we all just got a little fatter looking just at this thing.

HAPPY WEEKEND! I hope your weekend is a golden nugget, cloaked in a rainbow, dipped in sparkles with cherries and whipped cream on top. I just got kind of tingly writing that.


  1. Love #6... Megan and I were discussing yesterday that we will be attending. Have a great friday!

  2. There is very little that I could possibly love any more that Friday News Flash!

    1) Winos unite! Just because you are posting this, I am headed to the liquor store to buy them out of cabs and reislings - let the weekend begin!

    2) Umm... I love Justin Bieber. It's a totally creepy, cute, that-little-boy/girl-can-sing-way-better-than me bond/jealousy. Plus, his hair is way better than mine. Ugh.

    3)Hahaha, totally loved the nugget + rainbow + multiple ice cream toppings wishes! Happy weekend to you too, dearie!

  3. "Cougs are real. All you have to do is believe."

    Hahaha. Amen. Well said.

  4. Thank you for being my source of all knowledge this week.

    A) I desperately need those Golden Girls dolls. LOVE that show so much!

    B) I will most definitely attend a BSBNKOTB (fab acronym coupling) concert if it is ANYWHERE near me. Oh, the awesomeness.

  5. 1) Mark is Wahlberg seriously overestimates his IQ

    2) How typical for a man to claim that cougars don't exist, guess what, if a 50 yr old man can date a teenager, a middle aged woman most certainly can as well, and guess what? guys are so horny they don't care how old she is!!!!!

    3) thank you for your comment, and for your blog!

  6. 1) hello from the [Life of Meg] Mingle Monday

    2) THIS NEWS ABOUT ALCOHOL IS PROBABLY THE GREATEST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL DAY. Granted, I'm currently mostly unemployed so it's a major accomplishment to get myself out of bed by noon soooo I haven't really been up for too long.. but stilllll

    3) Tom Cruise is nucking futz, but Suri is beyond precious. That has to sting for his other kids though - that's just such an inappropriate comment.

    4) I can feel my arteries clogging from that image alone.

  7. I'm in total love with the nesting dolls! I need the Golden Girls ones in my life.

    And the possibilities are endless!
    Andy Griffith
    The Office
    The Facts of Life (showing my age here)
    Top Gun
    Ferris Bueller's Day Off
    The Brady Bunch (prolly too many)
    on and on!!!

  8. I heard on the radio that it was rumored that Boyz II Men would open for Backstreet and NKOTB.


Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....



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