May 7, 2010

Friday newsflash!

This week has been pretty sad: oil spill, flooding, lacrosse player murdered. I want to ignore most of the sad stuff. I've had a tough work week and want to get my brain into weekend mode. Commencing the B-list news storys of the week.... 1. Elvis Presley's doctor, Dr. George “Nick” Nichopoulos, believes that chronic constipation was responsible for the legend's untimely death. Since his death in 1977 pretty much everyone has believed (and probably still does) that he died because of drug dependency, heart problems and obesity. Apparently new research on constipation is offering clarity on the King's passing. This constipation problem could have been responsible for the "accidents" he was known to have and his weight gain later in life. I don't know if I buy that poop problems are to blame for Elvis' fall from grace. I sort of hope the poop is behind his tragic death. I hate when famous people over-debaucherize and die. It breaks my heart. 2. Serena Van Der Woodsen is my hero. Earlier this week the annual Met Gala was held in NYC. This event is a cornucopia of fashion. (Click here to see a slideshow) I don't even know where to start with all the beautiful outfits on parade. Across my various "news" outlets, I keep seeing the story that after the ball was over, Blake Lively changed into a t-shirt and converse sneakers. ...GASP... for the afterparty. "OH MY GOSH HOW DARE SHE TAKE THAT MARCHESA OFF." I'm proud of her. I like her more. I typically avoid high heels and uncomfortable things. I commend her for putting on her sneaks to party. Reminds me of how in college I had "nice shoes" for going to bars and "gross shoes" for going to frat parties. STARS, they're just like US! 3. Saturday night a crazy person named Faisal Shahzad attempted to leave a car bomb in Times Square. (not exactly B-list, but can't ignore...) Before the thing blew up, a street vendor noticed the car filling with smoke and called the authorities. They were able to thwart his plot and he's now in in custody. Then, today, Times Square was evacuated again because of a "suspicious package" outside the Mariott Marquis hotel, near where the car bomb was found. After hysteria ensued, they determined that the "package" was cooler full of water. It makes me hurt hat our society has to be so on-alert all the time. One freaking abandoned bag and we have to evacuate. Damn you Faisal and all your terrorist friends. 4. Quote of the week:
"I felt like I'd walked into an American teen movie. I picked up the red cups. I was like, 'Wow, they really do drink from these.'" —Emma Watson to Vanity Fair on her first frat party at Brown
Give me a freakin' break. What a snob. If she didn't encounter a SOLO cup until she went away to college, and was amazed at the sight of them, she may be a real-life alien. Hermoine is a little bit out of touch. I hope she didn't try the Jello shots or drink the punch....she deserves to learn that lesson the same way we all did. 5. Cameron Diaz did the walk of shame. Hahahahahaha. Rumors have been circling for weeks that she's shacking up with Alex Rodriguez all over the country. Apparently it's true. Sunday morning she was photographed leaving his apartment. Ponytail: Check. No Bra: Check. Over-stuffed handbags: Check. A night-cap definitely transpired, but she looks pretty phenomenal in her shacker outfit. I love a PR slip-up like this one. I live for it. Happy Weekend and early Mother's Day!

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