Apr 7, 2010

Tiger Woods, can we be done with him already?

So Tiger is finally back in action. (For context, here are my original thoughts on the scandal.) Frankly, I can't figure out what the big deal is. He is a golfer, not a professional husband. I wish everyone would just flipping focus on the golf. The women have all come forward for their moment of fame. All of the lurid texts and trysts have been discussed. He's gone into hiding. He's done the obligatory "I'm a sex addict" rehab song and dance. What more do you want from the guy? Just let him do his thing.
Apparently, the news media doesn't agree. When he arrived at the Masters this week in Augusta, GA he met the maelstrom of cameras and reporters he's probably gotten accustomed to. He held a news conference Monday that was so packed with reporters that each news organization was only allowed to send one representative. GASP. Clearly he didn't say anything juicy enough in the conference for me to even report.

The part that brings me giggles is that Tiger doesn't seem to have a care in the world. The New York Times reported, "Clad in an outfit as light as his mood — purple shirt, beige pants and a white cap — Woods displayed a demeanor that was easy and free of angst." Yah, he's angst free because he's on a golf course, not a room full of freaky sex addicts in some hidden location. I would be too.

Honestly I think the big deal is that the stuffy, elitist golfers and fans that can get into the Masters are just annoyed that this week has turned into a scandal-ridden paparazzi circus, not the classy affair that it's been in the past. Old white people are standing around with their mint juleps talking about sexts, not country-clubbing and the doggone liberals in Washington. I think they should embrace the fact that people who normally find golf mind-numbingly dull (take a certain Poodleist, for example) are tuning in. Sexting Tiger is even more of a ratings monster than good-at-golf Tiger. (It's like when the RNC finally accepted Speidi's parading Hollywood in Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh t-shirts...everyone has a price.)

As a side note, Ludacris has chimed in on the sexting too:
"If I’m making fun of Tiger Woods in this song, I’m making fun of myself, too. I feel like he’s just the face of sexting at this particular time. Tiger Woods, man — he’s definitely made us learn a lot." Ludacris on his song "Sexting"
(What in the world would we do without Ludacris to break this whole thing down? Him feeling the need to comment is "Ludicrous" hehehe.)

In addition, Tiger's first endorsement advertising spot has come out for the start of the masters. It's so freaking intense. It looks like a segment that should be on Intervention or something. It's the voice of Tiger's late father asking questions seemingly related to his poor choices. It's in black and white. Come on guys, he cheated. He's a professional athlete, big whoop.

He's even getting attacked for his fashion. Stylists are wondering if the "new Tiger," clad in lighter colors and khakis, as opposed to his normal macabre style, is more accessible and likable. The man is wearing purple, so I like him more already. People are wondering if the colorful clothes represents the new "I have sex with lots of people fun Tiger Woods." I hope so. But I will comment, if the man wanted to look less sleazy, a patchy goatee is not the right direction.

If you didn't pick up from my tone, I'm over this scandal. I sort of feel bad for the guy. He never asserted to be anything than a good golfer. Cheating is not okay, but it's also none of any one's business. I hope he blows everyone out of the water this weekend and they all get off his back.

I wonder where Elin is? Country club bar? Scandinavia? LaBare?


  1. Casey! I just stumbled across your blog and I think it's hilarious. Just thought I would let you know!

    Hope all is well! I think the last time I talked to you, you were thinking about law school-- let me know if that's still in the picture (i'm going next year)!

    Keep writing!
    Jamie (Brod)

  2. Day 1: Tiger is (-4) and in 3rd place, unbelievable for someone that has not played golf in almost 1/2 a year. Not so amazing for Tiger Woods since he is the greatest golfer and maybe athlete ever. I remember back when Tiger's scandal first appeared on Poodleism and my comment was: "Dear Tiger.. Please hurry back, see you at the Master's."



Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....



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