Apr 7, 2010

Migraine blues.

Yesterday was yucktastic. I got inundated in an irritating task at work that stressed me out and mushroomed into a full-on migraine. I don't want to discuss the details of this project, I'm still in a delicate neurological place and don't want to re-trigger the wrath. Lets just say this little activity involved Excel, which requires a side of my brain that isn't often exercised, let alone forced to run a productivity marathon.

To include you on the backstory, I often got migraines as a little kid. I'd come home from school with them a couple of times a month for some years. I've inherited this lucky condition from my dad, one of the few things he genetically bequeathed to me that I lament (oh, and my chubby, manly hands). Each time, it was excrutiating pain followed by nausea/barfing/misery, for which the only cure was to go into a coma for several hours. Through high school and college it seemed as though I'd outgrown them, only having one once a year or so. But lately, they've creeped back up, the perils of financial independence and adulthood could be to blame. Damn that growing up.

So yesterday, after a few hours of Excel terrible-ness, the warning signs started to poke their nasty little faces into my world. Blurred, spotty, generally effed-up vision is a sure sign. There is no pain, but lack of visual perception pretty much renders me useless. That began around 3 pm. For the next 2.5 hours I alternated between squinting and wearing sunglasses at my desk to try to get my work done. The pain was mounting. By the time I got home it was an all-out pain circus in my skull. I got home and, of course, the Prince was on his typical 6pm terror. After a day of being locked in the kitchen, at this time he is his most rambunctious, mischevious and unruly. Great.

Six months ago I had my last mega-graine, and have since asked to be prescribed some kind of pain medicine for when these little buggers pop up. (Without my mom here to bring me snacks and backrubs, I pretty much don't know what to do with myself as a sick person). This was my first time to try the medicine whose box clearly read, "Do NOT attempt to drive a motor vehicle or operate machinery." Eek. Nervous, but no choice in the matter, my brain felt like someone squirted lemon juice in its eye and was punching it at the same time. I've been fortunate enough not to have any experience with serious pain medicine, and the side effects ("dizziness, nausea, weakness, feeling sleepy, pain or pressure sensation in the chest or throat") knocked me on my behind. I was pain-free, but felt a combination of drunk, food-poisoned, hung-over, hallucinating....all while awake and reckoning with a crazy poodle. That innocent looking little orange guy at right is the culprit. It was one of the most bizarre things I've ever experienced. The sensation lasted until I went to bed, so around a full six hours. Then I had really weird dreams about random people from my past.

Anyway, today I'm feeling a lot more chipper, but still sort of in a fog. I'm still confused and befuddled by the strange dreams of oddities I cannot even describe. I'm trying to avoid spreadsheets. If you have any way for me to parlay this experience into a permanent doctors' excuse for never having to deal with Excel, I'm all ears.

PS: After doing a little bit more research on migraine triggers, I've read that, "some foods such as aged cheese, red wine, and caffeine may trigger migraines." Balls. Talk about a one-two punch. Those are my favorite things.

1 comment:

  1. Poodleism = Mundane workday relief. You could bottle this and put it in the prescription isle of the drug store.


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