Mar 16, 2010

Total Needle Domination

I love overcoming my fears. It rarely happens. Some fears that I haven't overcome: SNAKES, being alone in a parking garage, waking up while in surgery, many types of seafood, swimming in murky water (partially relates to the snakes) and driving between a 18 wheeler and a concrete barrier. One thing I'm going to partially remove from the list is needles. Hip Hip Hooray! This is my "I just made that situation my bitch" face:

This morning I made my annual visit to the doctor. Needed to make sure everything is working ok and get my once yearly prescription refill. I visited a new doctor this morning, which was actually delightful and I'll definitely be back there, so I had to endure the requisite "tell us about everything that's ever happened to your body ever" routine. Since I'd never done it before, the office demanded I get my cholestrol checked...which requires a blood test. They totally surprised me with this one (I guess I just associate cholesterol problems with fat old men) and there was no turning back. I've been known to ask in advance if there will be any needle poking in my future so to arrange for a chaperone. Nuts. Totally unprepared.

I'm a fainter. That's why I need a chaperone. I will blackout on you if you stick me with a needle. Usually I can bank on it. There was one particular incident in high school where I was in an MRI clinic getting some diagnostics done for a stomach problem. Inserting the IV resulted in 3 total blackouts (like fell out of my chair onto the floor) and a call to EMS. It was traumatic and since then I haven't tried to endure it alone. My mommy had to come with me to get all three rounds of the Guardasil vaccine. I was age 20.

In the spirit of growing up and not really having a person to accompany me in my new DFW home, I decided to just wing it and give it a try. There was a special laboratory area where I had to go after my appointment for the blood extraction. Clearly they sat me in the single seat in the waiting area that had a full view of all the patients getting stabbed before me. I asked a man next to me to switch. He wasn't thrilled but moved swiftly...I must have looked as panicy as I felt.

So my turn comes around and I warn the technician what might happen. She was an angel. She told me to look over her shoulder at the pictures she had hung up of her children. If there is any way to dupe me it is to dangle an infant. She just started chatting me up about these kids. From their ages, to favorite movies, to one awkward comment about her being in labor for 37 hours. I felt a tiny prick and looked down to see her sucking the blood out into the tube and she jokingly said...."This would be a tough job if I were a vampire." I giggled and my mind went wild with thoughts of Twilight obviously. It was all over and I get pretty light-headed and started to see a bright light, but no blackout to speak of. VICTORY. HALLELUJA! I'M A BIG KID NOW! She made me sit there a second and sip some juice (I was dissapointed there was no cookie) and sent me on my way. Here's a pic of the evidence: I walked out of there thinking "WTF just happened? Did I just handle that like an adult?" I think I did. Whoa. It's been sort of a weird day so far (poodle chaos overnight - all is well now though), but I feel like I did something great. So proud. I don't think it is fair to consider the fear totally conquered yet, but I'm getting there. Hot Damn.


  1. I don't know if you met Melanie when you came to Lubbock, but I used to have to go with her to the doctor for the needle factor. Once there was a freckle removal where she damn-near squeezed my hand off. I'm proud of you for doing it on your own!


Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....



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