Mar 17, 2010

Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy. K-kinda busy. K-kinda busy

Something awesome has happened. It is the release of Lady Gaga and Beyonce's "Telephone" video. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect and fabulous collaboration. Although a wonderful and dazzling endeavor, this video is extremely bizarre. It is wrought with shameless product placement, is over 9 minutes long and is more of a story than a traditional music video. Do not watch this at your office without headphones...

Here are a few stills from the video that particularly caught my eye: The video begins with Lady Gaga entering a prison. Who knows what she's captive for, but clearly she looks no less fierce behind bars. I don't exactly know what to comment on...the prison cell disgusting toilet in the background that she somehow still looks hip standing next too or her outfit choice. Either way, I sort of thing this ends the "I think she may have a penis" debate. Her glasses are adorned with lit cigarettes and she's making out with a butch lady prisoner. Never mind the makeout session, but the glasses kind of blow my mind. What bad trip led her to conceive of these? I also can't help but think of the poor production assistant that had to stand there and light all of them. What was running through his/her mind..."I went to film school dammit. And I'm trying to quit smoking. Eff this." Enter Beyonce to bail her out of jail. YES. She picks up Gaga in a ghetto fabulous tricked-out pickup truck with "Pussy Wagon" painted across the back of it (Go to around 4:46 of the video for a very bizarre interchange with the two) They have quick chat and then speed off to engage in some mischief. If I were sitting in the stepchild seat between the two of them I'd probably pee myself. I wish they just traveled alone in a pickup together everywhere they went. Eventually we get to this scene with Gaga in the kitchen. The bit is that she's preparing poisonous sandwiches to kill Beyonce's scoundrel boyfriend (portrayed by Tyrese Gibson) and eventually a lot of other people. This made me giggle because only Gaga would be in a kitchen wearing a phone helmet in a sparkly cocktail dress surrounded by a gaggle of gays. I think the thought of her in the kitchen at all is what resonated with me. I always just assumed (and still kind of do) that she drinks blood and eats spiders or something bizarre like that. Don't know how I got to that in my mind, but domesticity isn't really her game. hehehe. I've been known to rock some jorts in my day, but hot damn! These are the best jorts on the face of the earth. They are actually a little bit more like denim panties, but what a fierce look. I still maintain that I'll be born Beyonce in my next life. I'm already working on the dance moves in this life. I think I'm going start fasting now to be able to get into this getup around Halloween time. Last but most certainly not least: American Flag Gaga. Don't know where in the world this came from, but I like the show of pride. Gaga: she's an American JUST LIKE US! I guess this really just shocked me because she isn't in fact an alien. Maybe she still is an alien. Don't care. Love her. Loved the video.

Update: One of my co-workers just told me that watching the video "gave his brain a charlie horse." Perfect description.

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