Mar 30, 2010

Real Housewives of NYC - pure genius.

As I've mentioned before, this spring time is jam-packed with television delights for me. One little nugget of goodness I haven't really discussed this season is the Real Housewives of New York City, which is a few episodes into its new season. I love this show so so so much.

While all of the housewives casts are wrought with materialism and elitism, none even come close to the snobbery of the Manhattan-ites (I think because the snobbiness threshold is higher there than anywhere). This amounts to really fabulous TV. Orange County bores me. New Jersey is too trashy. Atlanta is fabulous, but I think kind of awkwardly focuses on the ladies' blackness too much. The reason I think the New Yorkers are so good is that the majority of them are highly educated, accomplished and have amazing careers of their own, whereas the others truly are housewives, so they only talk about their kids and the country club. I need more drama than that. These sharp, savvy, modern women on-the-go can take the bitchiness and backstabbing to a whole other realm and I just gobble it up. They also have the best clothes and vacation homes. And, they all ship their kids of to hoity toity boarding schools so they have plenty of time to get all dressed up and "do lunch," which makes up many scenes. But, on the downside, their men are decidedly the least attractive. This is why I love/hate all the "housewives:"

Jill Zarin. She is my favorite. I honestly can't say much bad about Jill. She is the most real, tells it like it is, and is fiercely loyal to those who do not betray her. She also has a hilarious husband, Bobby, who may or may not have a seedy side business running out of the back room of their fabric store. She has a great accent, is fair and only back stabs those who betray her. She will hold a grudge like it is nobody's business. There are tales in the tabloids of her jealousy, but if Bravo doesn't capture it, I try to ignore. Love her.

Bethenny Frankel. She's my other favorite. Although she looks like a bobblehead and is WAY too skinny, she keeps things pretty real most of the time. She works hard for her career, is the only one that hasn't been married and is very independent. She has a new love interest (who she has since married and gotten pregnant with), so I'm thrilled to see her happy this season. She is a chef and her business is to teach women how to eat and drink delicious things while staying trim. I fervently support this endeavor. She usually doesn't get too mixed up in the drama, honestly I think it's because she is just too busy. Unfortunately her and Jill are in a terrible fight. Breaks my heart.

Kelly Bensimon. A former model, Kelly dresses extremely inappropriate for her age and is WAY too tan. She is always showing way to much T&A for a woman in her late forties. To make matters worse, she recently posed almost naked for Playboy. Gross. In addition to her being way too sexy for a mother of two, she is ridiculously immature and just plain stupid. She has an entirely made up fantasy world in her mind in which she is the queen and everyone on earth is sparkly and skinny. She also loves to date foreign men that are way too young for her. She's new to the cast and I think the others hate her and wouldn't be seen with her if it weren't for Bravo.

Ramona Singer. I prefer to refer to her as "crazy eyes" because she has some weird thing going on where at all times her eyes are focused as if she is in the middle of heated fisticuffs. I assume its the result of a cosmetic procedure gone wrong. She also wears really short outfits and loves to dance on bars. Her family business is selling ugly sparkly jewelry. Since their products are so hideous, I assume her guido husband, Mario, is involved in some other kind of operation too. She is pretty much in the middle of every fight in the history of the show. The husband is atrocious too and they often make an unstoppable classless team.

Alex McCord. She is a shameless social climber...and admits it. She and her terrible husband, Simon, openly discuss trying to "be seen and photographed" at swanky events where they don't exactly belong. Simon is and English hotel manager and pure Euro trash. He's been known to wear snakeskin pants and leather shirts (see wardrobe ridiculousness at left). Really. The cute thing about them is that their children are often featured and they're devotedly in love and are rarely apart. She doesn't have much controversy, but Simon's antics are enough that they should just stay in Brooklyn where they live. She's also weirdly skinny for having two babies under 5. I'm thinking Phen Phen.

LuAnn de Lesseps. Until her European royalty husband cheated on her and they divorced earlier this year, she was referred to exclusively as "The Countess." She is the ultimate show of upmost snobbery and conceit. She truly believes she's better than other people. She looks down her nose at almost everyone she meets and demands that service people refer to her by her title. So, so awkward. She's written a book on etiquette and class, but treats people really terribly sometimes. The woman does know table manners and thank you notes though, and I have a lot of respect for that. She also has a smoker's voice...the picture of class.

If you made it this far, thanks for sitting through that lengthy run-down. I clearly have spent too much time with this show if I can comment that much. I have a couple episodes to catch up on before Thursday night rolls around, but this season thrills me so far. I love them so much.

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