Mar 8, 2010

Oscar Night Red Carpet Reactions

After a fabulous weekend of relaxation and girl talk with a good buddy, I got to indulge (sans manfriend) in one of my favorite nights of the year - the OSCARS! Ever the purveyor of celebrities and pop culture, this is my Super Bowl. This year I watched alone, which is atypical, but kind of nice because the magic of DVR allowed me only to enjoy the parts I wanted to. Overall I don't have much reaction to the show itself, except that I guess I need to see the Hurt Locker sometime. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were fabulous hosts, delivering classic zingers and comedy. Loved them.

Even though I'm trying to be more positive in this March, the red carpet fashions generally let me down. I felt like the stars were decidely non-colorful last night. Many of the dresses were in muted hues and not-so-shiny metallics. Boo. I love a technicolor black tie event. Here's my breakdown of the favorites (and most of them aren't brightly colored either):

Sandra Bullock (Marchesa). Winning for best actress and emerging from RomCom siberia, it was her night. She was the shining star. I loved her red lipstick, which few brunettes can really pull off. The glittery cascading detail down the side of the dress was amazing. I also love a casual hairdo with a fancy dress. I also love her tatooed hubby. I also just pretty much want to be her.

Miley Cyrus (Jenny Peckham). Typically I despise Miley Cyrus and her effed up grill with all my heart, but I loved this dress. Love a corset that doesn't look like a hooker suit. I also like the full skirt that didn't come out to Cinderella-ish. She totally fumbled up her little presentation blurb on stage, but she looked good doing it. Now that I know she can clean up like this, shots of her ripped jeans and inappropriate sideboob that often surface on the web will be even more unacceptable. Also, why didn't mommy Cyrus and Billy Ray teach her about posture?

Rachel McAdams (Elie Saab Haute Couture). I'm not real crazy about the print on this little puppy (she seems to have chosen a print that belongs on curtains from 1976), but the cut and volume is just fabulous. Despite this not being my favorite color palette, it's not easy to pull off that much of printed fabric. Kudos. Rachel: Please get back together with Ryan Gosling and have Notebook babies.

Cameron Diaz
(Oscar de la Renta). SPARKLES. RED LIPSTICK. FEATHERY HAIR. FAVORITE OUTFIT OF THE NIGHT. All the elements are there. In many past red carpet appearances, she's shown up looking very Barbie-ish with giant hair volume and hot pink. This is a chic departure from her usual I think. Two thumbs up.

Demi Moore (Versace). I can't not comment on how awesome she looks ALWAYS. Demi Moore like out-awesomes herself everytime she's seen in public. Lets not forget that she is definitely cougar-tastic, but seems to be getting a younger body every year. Whatever she is doing, it works. This dress is perfect. I think it's ironic that this shining bastion of age avoidance (almost to the point that its weird how she seems to be getting further from death) presented the "In Memoriam" tribute. Good for her.

Penelope Cruz (Donna Karan). Penelope Cruz is so fabulous. I want to be a Spaniard exclusively to be a little more like her. She is a goddess of Latin spiciness and I cant get enough. I welcomed this color pop in the sea of neutrals last night. Tight but not trashy, voluminous but not a walking cupcake. Her and Javier Bardem may as well be the queen and king of Spain.

Amanda Syfried (Armani Prive). I like an all-over sparkly dress, and this understated-heat-to-toe glitter looks amazing on her. Usually giant dresses that occupy the roomspace of three people aren't my forte, but this is just the right amount of drama. She's a star on the rise alrighty. But honestly, no matter how glamorous she thinks her character, Karen from Mean Girls will never escape my mind. ("It's like my boobs have ESPN or something")

These are the dresses that really confused me, the real "WTF" ones from the evening (Yes, I am aware the hypocrisy of including 3 purple frocks to this list, but they still go terribly wrong):

Charlize Theron (Christian Dior). It looks like someone with some kind of paint on their hands grabbed her boobs from behind. What was she thinking drawing attention to her knockers like that? The swirls kind of remind me of the swirls they put over cartoons' eyes when they're hypnotized. Little bit cocky if you ask me.

Jennifer Lopez (Armani Prive). How did she manage to find a dress with giant crap on one side that still makes her butt look the size of Texas? I love the color (and her) but I really cannot fathom how the giant side crap does not distract from the giant rear crap. Although this looks silly, I like how Jenny from the Block owns her curves.

Molly Ringwald. (?) Now this is such a shame. She is one of my favorite stars of decades past. I grew up watching her films. But the choice to match her bracelet to that humongous belt thing kind of looks like a space suit. The whole thing reads very wonder-woman-ish (and not in the sexpot Summer Roberts kind of way). And the bangs. Really, bangs? Fail.

Zoe Saldana (Givenchy). I don't even know where to start, so lets just discuss beginning at the top. Baby pink sparkly around the bust. Then we get into this oragami-esque waistline situation. Then it poofs up around her hips, making her but look wierd. Then there is all this ombre Swiffer duster business down below. What crackhead split personality sat down and came up with this design? It's a real shame because she's so beautiful and there was a strong chance she would've ended up on stage. Maybe it's best she didn't.

Nicole Richie (Reem Acra). First of all, why is she at the Oscars? I can't think of a single thing she's ever done that would merit an invitation. I bet some brilliant sound editor, photographer or CGI nerd had to stay at home because she occupied a chair. Anway, she has one of the most petite and delicate figures in the world and opted to wear a macrame afgan. Huh? Every square inch of her body is covered, but it's so tight around the middle that it looks classless. More than anything I just have questions about this choice.

Sarah Jessica Parker (Chanel). "Fashion Icon?" This sort of looks like a nightgown. I don't even really know what to call it. She is so much better than this. Also, she went a little nuts on the mystic tan. She isn't a spring chicken anymore, and I think when you get to a certain point you just shouldn't be this "sun-kissed." Also, when she got on stage, her hair was all messed up, like got drunk and slept in her updo. Not her best work.

There was obviously some ManCandy in the house last night. There is nothing like a man in a tuxedo. Somehow they don't look all the same to me. A debonair man about town in formal wear just drives me crazy. I won't even mention George Clooney, that's a whole post in itself.

Zach Ephron (Calvin Klein). Hello handsome, I've missed you lately. Don't know where this slice of gorgeous pie has been hiding, but welcome back. Skinny tie: works.

Taylor Lautner (Dolce & Gabbana). It's not just because I'm a slave to all things Twilight, but this little one is really looking dapper. It's a real shame he isn't legal yet. He arrived on the arm of stupid Kristen Stewart and they both sort of dropped the ball on their presentation speech. No matter, still smokin'.

Ryan Reynolds (Tom Ford). I'd probably allow Ryan Reynolds to father my children if he were interested. Man, he is so hot. Hand in the pocket, so casual, so relaxed. He deserves to be married to the sexiness oozing Scarlet Johansson. Boo her. I don't like his comedy all that much, but I do like his bod.

Mancandy. Mmmmm....

Anway, the night was a victory over all. I'm glad Avatar didn't sweep the night. I never saw it out of protest and I feel validated in that endeavor now. Next year I'm praying for more brightly colored dresses, but I guess I enjoyed the challenge of navigating through the mauves for the truly spectacular ones.

1 comment:

  1. I didn't like Sandra's lipstick at all. I didn't feel that it was the right shade of red.

    Karen from Mean Girls...hahaha. Same thoughts.

    I kept going back and forth with Charlize's dress. Some shots looked good, others not so much. Hmmm. I'm DVR'ing Fashion Police right now. I guess I'll see what they say too.

    SJP: tore up. Bad, bad, bad.

    Man Candy: my personal fave was Robert Downey, Jr. He could totally father my children.


Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....



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