Mar 2, 2010

Jake + Vienna = Dallas's dumbest couple

Before I begin, soundtrack for this post:

If you refer to my previous blog about this season of ABC's The Bachelor, the season, subtitled "On the Wings of Love," has ended with the unthinkable. He chose VIENNA. She's terrible. Not only is she 9 years his junior and totally fugly, she didn't get along with any of the girls and just is looking for a free ride onto reality TV, or that's my theory. In her past life she's been a topless model (click here for the R-rated trashiness) and once eloped. Jake was even aware of the fact that the icy ring she wears on her left hand was a promise ring she wears to assure her father she wouldn't elope again. WTF? During the episode, this was probably my favorite scene:

Jake is pensively staring out into the oceany abyss in his PJ pants totally baffled about who to chose. This just cracked me up as one of the D-Bagiest shots of the show, and there were many. I can't get enough of them though.

Nonetheless, on the "After the Rose" tell-all interview, the happy couple seemed ecstatic. This special is filmed 3 months after the conclusion of the show, so I fully expected him to have sobered up to her swamp trashy ways. Guess not. They did assert that "Vienna will be moving to Dallas immediately" to join him. Although I despise her, they did seem just giddy with love, so that is something nice. And I'll probably stalk them around town. Wait, I'll definitely try to stalk them around town.

On another note, they also announced that the next Bachelorette will be the beautiful and controversial Ali. She was one of the last girls left and chose to depart from the show when she was faced with the choice of staying on the show or losing her job. I had a lot of respect for her choosing the feminist route of not abandoning her career. Instead, she's chosen to totally girl out on us and become the next object of America's affection. She's a genius. She has it all. I bet Vienna is just seething about the reality career that has slipped through her fingers into Ali's. I cannot wait for it to begin.

Now that "On the Wings of Love" has flown out of my Monday schedule, I'll have plenty of time for Gossip Girl, my true television love, next week. It's returning from a long hiatus and I've missed my friends from the Upper East Side dearly. Can't. Flipping. Wait.

4 comments:

  1. Word on the street is that Ali left because they wanted her to be the next Bachelorette, not because of her job. You buy it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll stalk with you if I'm allowed to throw things at them... Look at me, I watch 20 minutes of the show and I'm defensive. She won't be able to hang in Dallas with that fugly pink butterfly dress she had on in the wrap up show.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Watch any of the episodes and count how many times this guy says the word "heart"... dbag.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I absolutely LOVE Gossip Girl. I hope you blog about it. :-)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment! I"m sending you a big cuddly warm bearhug through the interwebs....

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