I've been keeping a little running list of hilarious celebrity quotes lately. I love quotes, I try to keep them around my cubicle to inspire me. It could be the formally trained journalist in me, but quotes have always fascinated me and recently there have been several giggle-icious ones from the celeb realm:

"He is just like my typical guido juicehead with like a good personality. He's actually a b

ody builder and works at the gym. I am really excited to like show the public who he is. He is freaking banging. We're the sexiest couple I have ever seen in my entire life so I am excited for everybody to see that." —Snooki on her new boyfriend, Emilio Antonio

Where to start (and I'm not even going to address "typical guido juicehead")? The best part of this one is the "like a good personality." I'm sure the use of "like" was a careless piece of slang, but I'd like to think it's Snooki's admission that she's only working with a semi-good personality on this guy, which is about all poor lil Snickers can probably get. They may actually be the sexiest couple I've ever seen in my whole life though.

"The sex scenes with Uma [Thurman] are kind of disturbing. Her character kind of uses sex as a sort of weapon and my character thinks like an animal. There's a lot of sex scenes in this film, so I'm asking quite a lot of myself, and with lots of different people as well." —Robert Pattinson on his upcoming film Bel Ami

Really honestly, how am I supposed to function with the idea of these sex scenes swimming around in my noggin? Damn that ManCandy Edward Cullen and his uncanny ability to haunt/enchant my dreams.

"I'll wear a gunny sack and belt it or a potato sack or trash bag. As long as you belt it, you're fine." —Sandra Bullock on Oscar attire

Isn't that the damn truth? a) Oscar attire can be totes ridiculous and b) a belt can solve even the most dire figure problems. That Sandra Bullock. I think If I were a famous person I'd be a lot like her; honest, an Austinite, dog lover....fabulous.

"I smoke weed all day. I'm a very successful addict. And a smart one. And a very charismatic one." —Lil Wayne

Shocker of the century. One thing I love about rappers is that they really have no filter. Thugged-out athletes from similar backgrounds, with similar couth are so media coached. They never say anything good. Rappers will never disappoint. Especially Weezy.

"She was looking at me almost like a zoo animal. It wasn't like I was her daughter anymore. She was looking at me like I was a circus freak." —Heidi Montag on reuniting with her mother for the first time post-plastic surgery

Duh. I'm mad at myself for being so addicted to the goings on of this "circus freak," but I just can't help myself. Another point for Speidi.

“I once dated a guy who was like, ‘Holy shit, I just made out with Harriet the Spy!’ And that's messed up. Don't say that. I was 10, you're 30, it's just weird.” —Michelle Trachtenberg

I've long maintained that Michelle Trachtenberg has been typecast as a sneaky deviant. (Georgina Sparks of Gossip Girl, played by one Michelle Trachtenberg, might be the most underhanded and evil character in the history of television.) Apparently I'm not the only one that thinks so, but it must be a real beating when she's cruising for makeout partners. Don't feel that bad for her though.