Feb 24, 2010

R-Patz + K-Stew = SO-DUMB

I really had planned to keep Twilight off of this blog until Eclipse time (June-ish) rolls around, but this stupid day has finally arrived and I just can't ignore it. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have taken their relationship public. I knew it was going to happen, but the disappointment is no less poignant. Honestly, she is a female douchebag and I can't think of many of those. I guess he is one too. This only further reinforces my assertion that I hate R-Patz, but love the ManCandy that is Edward Cullen. The real bitch of the situation is that the far superior Edward is fictional, so it's like the dreaminess is just a little further from my grips. Honestly it is a little relieving to have the mystery lifted, but unfortunately for them now crazies like me won't be scouring the web for their trysts like we used to (which translates into crappier acting jobs), so joke's on them.

The news became public when they attended the recent BAFTA awards. They arrived and sat through the ceremony seperately, but apparently at the after party they were "all over each other" and left the party together. This week he has said, "It is extremely difficult but we are together, yes." Various other Twi-hards have been blogging/writing that they feel bad that the couple has to go to such great lengths to hide their relationship to avoid the mob scene that would descend on them anywhere they go. I don't feel bad about the situation at all. Mostly because I don't think it will last. He'll realize she sucks soon enough. Mark my words. I'll attempt to deconstruct this sham of a love affair now:

One black mark against their relationship is that R-Patz recently said that he's "allergic to vagina." It may seem as though I've taken this quote horribly out of context, but truly, when with with open-legged models for a recent Details magazine photoshoot, he only expressed distaste for all the hoo-has in his face. Huh? Deal with that Kristen. I don't think they have Zyrtec for vagina allergies. I don't know if she's hypoallergenic or what they're going to about that.

The second pockmark on the face of this love affair (but a tally in the "pro" column of my heart) is that R-Patz also has claimed that "The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog." Amen to that brother. The prince isn't my only emotional connection of relevance, but it's a biggie. I dare that hypoallergenic K-Stew to break up that love bond. I dare her.

Well, despite my disapproval, looks like the king and queen of teen-dom's love connection is full steam ahead. Boo them. Over them (or I'm going to try to be over them). Miss you Edward, see you June 30...or March 12 when the trailer comes out.

1 comment:

  1. OMG! "I don't think they have Zyrtec for vagina allergies." HAHAHA. I hope Sara reads this. It will be much less awkward when I drunkenly quote it to her in the future.


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