I have a couple little news tidbits swirling in my brain today...I think I'll just do a little highlight reel of sorts. Welcome to my consciousness on a slow day in the office. All day I've been bear hugging these items in my noggin:

This is the damn upgrade of the century. Why did it take her so long to put the backwards mullet into the closet? But some better questions may be: Why doesn't she get a decently talented person to do her extensions (so to be a little less Joe Dirt-ish)? Why doesn't she get a decently talented Photoshop person to make her hair look good? When can I become famous enough to get a whole magazine cover to debut a new haircut? That Kate Gosselin, master media wrangler, you're not fooling anyone here.

I've systematically tried to remove this short-armed, bongo-drumming, posed-beach-workout-doing, placenta-eating, embarrassment to the state of Texas, d-bag from my radar for years. But then he goes and does something irresistible like wear a UT shirt for the paparazzi and I sort of like him. You win again McConaughey. Sidenote: one of my best pals saw him at the game up close in real person. I love a good celeb sighting. I hope he did something really weird that we can talk about for years whenever his name comes up. Other sidenote: I'm not acknowledging the UT game in any other way.

Charlie Sheen v. Brook Mueller. I love crazy people. She was drunk. He came at her with a knife. She wants him back. She has this creepy past as an actual crackhead. He is Charlie Sheen. He spends new years with his also totally insane ex-wife. Nancy Grace has devoted a show to them. Please don't ever make it stop. I'm hoping for a sex tape or secret illegitimate child to come out of the woodworks next....

Ke$ha is a new to my radar. So far I heart her dance tracks. I'm hoping she becomes a staple. I love a Southern Belle turned popstar/poptart. I fear she will be sort of a one-trick pony with the infectious pop music, but I've never held that against anyone before. Her description of her own new album is reason she gets a nod today:

"A cross between Beastie Boys and a tranny with a hangover"

I may want to tattoo this onto myself somewhere so I can remember who I am if I ever lose my memory or get old and loopy.

That's all for now. I'm considering making updates about news highlights a weekly installment. Any thoughts? Is anyone even out there?