Friday newsflash!
This is the damn upgrade of the century. Why did it take her so long to put the backwards mullet into the closet? But some better questions may be: Why doesn't she get a decently talented person to do her extensions (so to be a little less Joe Dirt-ish)? Why doesn't she get a decently talented Photoshop person to make her hair look good? When can I become famous enough to get a whole magazine cover to debut a new haircut? That Kate Gosselin, master media wrangler, you're not fooling anyone here.
I've systematically tried to remove this short-armed, bongo-drumming, posed-beach-workout-doing, placenta-eating, embarrassment to the state of Texas, d-bag from my radar for years. But then he goes and does something irresistible like wear a UT shirt for the paparazzi and I sort of like him. You win again McConaughey. Sidenote: one of my best pals saw him at the game up close in real person. I love a good celeb sighting. I hope he did something really weird that we can talk about for years whenever his name comes up. Other sidenote: I'm not acknowledging the UT game in any other way.
Charlie Sheen v. Brook Mueller. I love crazy people. She was drunk. He came at her with a knife. She wants him back. She has this creepy past as an actual crackhead. He is Charlie Sheen. He spends new years with his also totally insane ex-wife. Nancy Grace has devoted a show to them. Please don't ever make it stop. I'm hoping for a sex tape or secret illegitimate child to come out of the woodworks next....
Ke$ha is a new to my radar. So far I heart her dance tracks. I'm hoping she becomes a staple. I love a Southern Belle turned popstar/poptart. I fear she will be sort of a one-trick pony with the infectious pop music, but I've never held that against anyone before. Her description of her own new album is reason she gets a nod today:
"A cross between Beastie Boys and a tranny with a hangover"I may want to tattoo this onto myself somewhere so I can remember who I am if I ever lose my memory or get old and loopy.
That's all for now. I'm considering making updates about news highlights a weekly installment. Any thoughts? Is anyone even out there?
I love Poodleism's take on the lightning round - please make it a weekly feature. And please end all of them with an insane quote that you want to tattoo on yourself. Jersey Shore should be able to provide some great lines every week.
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